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by Moon Writes Definitions December 27, 2023
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by The Bob!!! September 20, 2003
Get the hotness mug.A member of society that has obviously become a parent because of their complete inept at the use of birth control or outright stupidity. In every single case of teenage parenting, abortion is the correct solution, no matter what the psychological impact, religious or parental influence may be. Even in cases of rape, the teen parent is a complete and total retard, even if it was against his or her will. Any person who has elected to give birth and attempt to raise a child as a teenager is an idiot for their inept or for their bad luck.
Even when the teenager grows older, he or she will never possess maturity and will never realize that what happened was a bad decision (because every pregnancy was carefully calculated). Whereas mature, adult parents often claim that their child is "the best thing that ever happened to them," no teenage parent feels this way because their children are and will always be a burden with no tangible rewards (as tangible rewards are the only things teens may comprehend). Any person who was or is a teen parent that views their child as anything other than a burden is an idiot for thinking that.
It is the accepted norm of each village to throw small rocks or sizable chunks of lead at each teenage parent on sight. This action promotes the general feeling that all teenage parents are idiots, no matter how responsible they were after their initially mistake or rotten luck.
In conclusion, all babies born of teen parents should be sent to the people of Ireland for feeding. The parents of said babies should all be taken to the local Town Hall and publically executed, broadcast on FOX. Perhaps Simon from American Idol will show up with his "brilliant" generic cynicism to let the would-be teen parents know that they are and forever will be, fucking idiots.
Even when the teenager grows older, he or she will never possess maturity and will never realize that what happened was a bad decision (because every pregnancy was carefully calculated). Whereas mature, adult parents often claim that their child is "the best thing that ever happened to them," no teenage parent feels this way because their children are and will always be a burden with no tangible rewards (as tangible rewards are the only things teens may comprehend). Any person who was or is a teen parent that views their child as anything other than a burden is an idiot for thinking that.
It is the accepted norm of each village to throw small rocks or sizable chunks of lead at each teenage parent on sight. This action promotes the general feeling that all teenage parents are idiots, no matter how responsible they were after their initially mistake or rotten luck.
In conclusion, all babies born of teen parents should be sent to the people of Ireland for feeding. The parents of said babies should all be taken to the local Town Hall and publically executed, broadcast on FOX. Perhaps Simon from American Idol will show up with his "brilliant" generic cynicism to let the would-be teen parents know that they are and forever will be, fucking idiots.
Child 1: Did you hear about Joanne? She's going to become a teen parent!
Child 2: That slut cannot keep her legs closed, and that Bill should have worn a condom! God, they are so stupid!
Child 1: I know...well, I mean she was on the Pill and the condom broke, but they should have been prepared for that shit, the idiots!
Child 2: They were both accepted to Ivy League schools, too...I guess their dreams of ever making large sums of money just went out the window. Serves them right, fucking idiots.
Adult 1: Did you hear, Bob's son, Bill got Jill's daughter, Joanne pregnant? They had an abortion because of the financial stress it would have put on them.
Adult 2: Really? I never had sex before marriage because it's against my religion. I condemn them because abortion is also against my religion. They are bad people.
Adult 1: Maybe if the children had access to condoms, they could have prevented the pregnancy in the first place. Unfortunately, two years ago your right-wing conservative groups banned the sale of condoms to minors.
Adult 2: Perhaps if they had followed the cirriculum of abstinence only, it wouldn't have happened either.
Child 2: That slut cannot keep her legs closed, and that Bill should have worn a condom! God, they are so stupid!
Child 1: I know...well, I mean she was on the Pill and the condom broke, but they should have been prepared for that shit, the idiots!
Child 2: They were both accepted to Ivy League schools, too...I guess their dreams of ever making large sums of money just went out the window. Serves them right, fucking idiots.
Adult 1: Did you hear, Bob's son, Bill got Jill's daughter, Joanne pregnant? They had an abortion because of the financial stress it would have put on them.
Adult 2: Really? I never had sex before marriage because it's against my religion. I condemn them because abortion is also against my religion. They are bad people.
Adult 1: Maybe if the children had access to condoms, they could have prevented the pregnancy in the first place. Unfortunately, two years ago your right-wing conservative groups banned the sale of condoms to minors.
Adult 2: Perhaps if they had followed the cirriculum of abstinence only, it wouldn't have happened either.
by ASBands June 11, 2006
Get the teen parent mug.by Anonymous November 20, 2002
Get the Fuck Stick mug.Verb: When a white person calls the police on a black male simply for the fact that he is black and also male.
Amy Cooper black maled Christian Cooper in Central Park on May 27, 2020 when she called the police on him for existing in her general vicinity.
by AnyoneButTrumpIn2020 June 18, 2020
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