Skip to main content

touching tubes 

In "touching tubes", two men touch the tips of their penises together then pull forward enough foreskin so that it covers both their penis heads, so the two penises now look like a single shaft connecting the two men's bodies.

That looks totally trippy-- and it sounds more than a bit romantic!-- but it is all totally no homo, because nobody's balls are touching.

If there's not enough loose foreskin (or just plain shaft skin) to cover both heads at once, then the two men are trying to touch tubes, but not quite managing it. However, that attempt still counts as "tip to tip", and a nice friendly sword fight can be the participation trophy.

Conversely, if there's there's a great deal of foreskin, then the men can even do full-on docking.

Comparing sizes can be a gateway drug to touching tubes-- which can immediately escalate to a non gay handjob, and from there, to anything.
"Me and my entirely platonic friend Kyle were comparing sizes, to address the question of 'grower' versus 'show-er'. Then hey yolo, so we decided to try touching tubes. I don't have much slack, but we did just fine, because he's got a glorious anteater! Then, in the spirit of wholesome friendship, we fell right into a bro job and cum swapping session that lasted for hours. But we wanted to clarify that this is no homo, so later we each gave each other a non gay handjob... several times... just to make sure we're totally straight."
touching tubes mug front
Get the touching tubes mug.
See more merch
An Irish phrase meaning shit, derived from ass
(Not to be confused with the literal description of one's buttocks)
"Did you hear the song Aylek$ dropped?"
"Hardly. Her music is absolute cheeks."

"My boyfriend say LaFlame is cheeks."
"Tell your boyfriend I said it's his mixtape that's cheeks."
Cheeks by thecartisan April 26, 2020

sans sheriff 

Lawless use of fonts or typography, with no regard to aesthetics or legibility
I'm putting this CV straight in the bin. Written totally sans sheriff.
sans sheriff by Jamarley July 3, 2019

Breadhead 

Someone who is addicted to obtaining money and building wealth. A money addict and fanatic. Breadheads often work more than one full-time job, and some even participate in illicit activities to "obtain the bread".
A breadhead is like a crackhead, but for money instead of crack.
Breadhead by 🅱️ U S 3 4 8 March 30, 2022

Stink lines

As seen in illustrations or cartoons: Wavy, vertical lines rising above a person, place or thing. Denotes a foul odor.
"You didn't put enough stink lines on your picture of the teacher."
Stink lines by Athene Airheart March 14, 2004

schmegegge 

Yiddish slang word meaning bullshit, baloney, hogwash, nonsense, crock of shit or hot air.
I don't buy the schmegegge about Morty sleeping with Moira.
His version of the story was pure schmegegge.
The whole schmegegge was made up to get Liz a little bit of attention.
schmegegge by budsbabe February 1, 2008

eye bleach 

Looking or experiencing something nice after witnessing something horrid like a disgusting gif or a disturbing video. Typically used as eye bleach are nice images of whatever makes the disturbed person happy.
"Bleach my eyes! Why is that woman's face ripped off!?"
*Looks up images of puppies and kittens.*
"That's good eye bleach."
eye bleach by Rini2012 November 29, 2016