The stool elf 

A mentally handicapped Midget, that deficates in little children's stockings on Christmas eve.

little timmy- mommy there is poo poo in my stocking
mother- oh fuck the stool elf got in the house.

wife- hey bob what is that hideous midget doing?
Bob- oh dont worry thats just the stool elf

The stool elf by Fillet-o-fetus April 4, 2010

the stool softener 

A homo or heterosexual act of intensely pounding the colon into utter submission. Most often performed with a full intestinal load of feces, ready for expelment. The act is ended with the anus exploding out the contents into the softener-er's hot ejaculatory goo.

Frenchy hated his ex-girlfriend so much for giving him Hep-C, he performed "The Stool Softener" on her the next weekend when she called up drunk and wanted some action. She passed out in a warm Spunk Loaf later that night.

the stool softener by e-rips December 16, 2003

Groom of the Stool 

The servant that wipes the King’s ass after he takes a shit.

After the King contracted food poisoning, the Groom of the Stool had their work cut out for them.

Groom of the Stool by The Real Joulie November 15, 2022

gotta ride the stool bus 

an expression to describe the act of defecating. similar to "dropping the cosby kids at the pool"

Bill "What's the rush??"
Dave "I gotta ride the stool bus"
Bill "Don't forget to drop the cosby kids off on your way"
Dave "Planned on it"

gotta ride the stool bus by suaverico May 21, 2011

Quit on the stool

To quit in a bitch like fashion due to low levels of testosterone and not having the ability to hack it.

First displayed by Jamie Yager in The Ultimate Fighter: Team Liddell vs. Team Ortiz, when he was brutalized by Josh Bryant. and refused to get up off the stool to fight in the deciding round.

He Quit on the stool.

Quit on the stool by Wedged_in June 21, 2010

Groom of the Stool 

The Groom of the Stool helped a king with toiletry, excrement, and other messy bodily functions. This was simultaneously one of the most repugnant and sought-after duties in the English royal castle. The Groom of the Stool was well-paid to keep the king's secrets. Although the duties were literally wiping shit off the king, the position was not considered a lowly one. The Groom of the Stool could pass secret messages to and from the king. One word from the Groom of the Stool was enough to change the fortunes of anyone in the royal court. He could act as a gatekeeper to grant access to the king in private.

H. R. Haldeman was chief of staff in the Nixon white house. He was a Groom of the Stool in that he kept Nixon's secrets and did some of his dirty work.

That chief of staff we hired last month is a real Groom of the Stool. He spends all his time cleaning up after the CEO and knows the secrets of every director. Never cross him or your ass is out the door.

Groom of the Stool by Ardias November 16, 2022

sit on the stool 

When Hannah is being very cross on Valentine's Day

Boy: Hey what are you doing alone in the dark there?

Hannah: Oh, me? Just taking a sit on the stool.

sit on the stool by therealest6669 February 14, 2014