the five v's
Velocity, Viscosity, Volume, View, and Violence. The five categories you can rate your pooping expierence on, each on a scale of 1-10:
Velocity: How fast was your poop? Was it super slow and hard to push out? Like you're constipated (1)? Or was it like a shotgun: one second it's in, then bang, it's out, and you go flying off the toilet (10).
Viscosity: What was the thickness like? Was it runny diarrhea (1)? Or was it a rock (10)?
Volume: How large was your poop? Was it a tiny little rabbit turd (1)? Or were you like "HOLY SHIT HOW DID THAT JUST FIT OUT OF MY ASS HOLE?!" (10)?
View: How was the view and surroundings while you were taking your poop? Were you in a stinky stall in a public restroom with a bunch of bugs (1)? Or were you in a nice, private bathroom with a pleasant scent and a magazine (10)?
Violence: You can interpret this one however you like.
Velocity: How fast was your poop? Was it super slow and hard to push out? Like you're constipated (1)? Or was it like a shotgun: one second it's in, then bang, it's out, and you go flying off the toilet (10).
Viscosity: What was the thickness like? Was it runny diarrhea (1)? Or was it a rock (10)?
Volume: How large was your poop? Was it a tiny little rabbit turd (1)? Or were you like "HOLY SHIT HOW DID THAT JUST FIT OUT OF MY ASS HOLE?!" (10)?
View: How was the view and surroundings while you were taking your poop? Were you in a stinky stall in a public restroom with a bunch of bugs (1)? Or were you in a nice, private bathroom with a pleasant scent and a magazine (10)?
Violence: You can interpret this one however you like.
the five v's by CubanGroceryBag August 12, 2016
