From the First Church Of Satan (FCOS) Come The Five Commandments Of Satan (FCOS):

1) Thou shalt love thy neighbor's wife until her husband comes home from work early one day, catches you in bed with her & kicks your ass! 2) Thou shalt not covet what I have stolen from you because you shall never get it back! 3) Thou shalt not take my name in vein unless if you are using a syringe containing all of the letters of my name within it, but you must never share the needle! 4) Thou shalt not bow down before any other god but me or I will come up from behind you & get busy! 5) Thou shalt turn the other cheek until your neck twists around & breaks, your spinal chord rips in two and your head falls in your lap!
"I prefer the 42 Laws of Ma'at over the Ten Commandments and the Five Commandments of Satan."
by ANOTHERDEADROMEO April 25, 2023
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