The Crump

When you have a spicy dump, perhaps after a bad curry and the ring is sore af afterwards and is res raw after which can be sore for days.
A Shrivelled red and sore butthole.

Originating from Newcastle UK

“Jack, you coming out to the pub lad?”

“Nahh alan, ive got the crump.”

by GeordieRepresent October 19, 2023

the Crumps

Unlike more common venereal diseases, 'the Crumps' is a sexually transmitted infection of such resiliance, David Hasselhoff is said to be heard singing in the ear of the afflicted as their genitals finally crumble. Thought to have originated in Yorkshire when a radioactive pubic louse bit an unsuspecting young rugby player on the cock. Symptoms include but are not limited to:
Thick, cloudy or bloody discharge from the penis or vagina
Metallic rings appearing on the genitals
Painful bowel movements
Severe adverse reaction to alcohol
Poor life choices

Listen, and understand. You've caught the Crumps. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead.

If you've been stabbed and then you get shot, the stabbing is nothing. It's the same with HIV and the Crumps.

by The third attempt May 17, 2018

Buttering the crumpet

to ejaculate semen onto a partners anus

after gaining my brown wings, i enjoyed buttering the crumpet

by Ginger kite sack June 14, 2011

we are the chumpy ones

we are the champions -by queen *one cannot escape hearing this stupid song at a sports arena! i HATED these guys when they came out, but have since learned to like them! -nevertheless, i still have trouble appreciating 'champions' -maybe its' the 'chorus style' singing?? -its' just a goofy fucking ditty!!...-who likes anybody peacocking and pumping themselves up??

i heard we are the chumpy ones at the baseball game and thought; yes indeed, you guys ARE the chumpy ones!!

by michael foolsley December 20, 2009

the crumple zone

The crumple zone is when the ass of the recipient is ample and the act of penetration from behind creates a ripple effect.

the crumple zone reminded Larry of waves on his vacation

by the bonecrusher December 18, 2016

Buttering the Crumpets

When you cum while pooping at the same time and the cum is spread on the poop before it hits the water. The penis may also be used as a buttering knife.

Yo' Derek what are you going to do later?
Probably just go home, drink a few beers, and try to butter the crumpets again.
What? Yo, buttering the crumpets is easier when you don't drink.

by poopbutter August 21, 2013

Toasting the crumpets

The act of finger poppin another mans ass hole with the doors locked and the lights off

Aye! Are you in there toasting the crumpets with another man?

by Hans00 August 1, 2015