Pretty much the most ridiculous name ever given to a
child, or at least given to a nine-year-old
child from New Zealand. A judge ordered the parents to change it so that the poor girl wouldn't have to die a lonely old spinster because nobody wants to touch a girl named Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii. That's assuming she even lives that long and isn't brutally beaten to
death before sixth grade. In the end the parents
lost custody of her, a relatively fitting reward.
Had they been Chinese they would've been shot on sight, little girl included, so they're lucky in that respect.
"Oh my god, what a beautiful baby we have. She's so pure! What the
hell do we name it?"
"How about Talula? I saw it on a train station
wall."
"That's retarded! What, are you high?"
"Always."
"Oh, good. I was thinking we should name her something with grit and integrity, something like Does The Hula From Hawaii. Our baby's gonna be
big, so it needs a big name with at least one state, one article, and definitely one verb."
"Babe, how about we
mix the names and call it Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii?"
"That's completely
fucking asinine! I love it, I love you!"
"Gimme that birth certificate! Is there a "y" in Hawaii?"