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The sexiest instrument in the entire world, next to the tuba. These instruments are so studly that anyone that plays one is instanty recognized as a god, stud, or downright playa.
"Wow, like, did you see Tuba when he was playing that new sousaphone? I thought I was going to pass out from sheer lust."
by Tuba MoFo January 13, 2006
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Nov 18 Word of the Day
Treating every relationship like it’s your last and getting super serious with someone you just started dating.
Person 1: who tf is that new chick w alex?
Person 2: idk he's been apocalypsing like crazy
by Plenty of Fish November 10, 2020
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A portable tuba often used in marching bands.
Dude what is that giant thing.

Its a sousaphone. Its like a tuba only cooler, because its portable!
by loves me some ehm geeh beeh. August 10, 2009
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A sousaphone is commonly referred to as a tuba. This is the tuba of choice for many marching bands. The sousaphone section can consist of 1 person, but many bands have up to 20 of these very awkward instruments.

Warning: Use of a sousaphone without proper training can result in the injury of the player or those around him.

Warning: Sousaphones are not to be used during lightning storms.
Sousaphones are difficult to transport on buses and in cars.
by Geebus July 25, 2004
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40 pounds of ultimate hotness. Those who are not seksi enough have to settle for playing a less hot instrument like the euphonium or trumpet. Those who are least gifted have to be demoted to the woodwind section, or even the drum line!

It will often cause you back problems, but who cares when you get all of the chicks! (Or guys for those less effeminate female sousa players.)
n00b: "Why is that guy's sousaphone white?"
Me: "Its because nobody likes him. Oh, and because even though he is 30 or so, he cant lift a brass sousa, so he has to carry white trash. He probably was a trumpet player"

Stupid people who dont think: "Isnt that heavy?"
Me: "uh, no, see how seksi I am?"
them: "oh, I forgot!"

Stupid people again: "Why dont they make pads for sousaphones?"
Me: "They do."

other brass: "Why did you pick the sousaphone? its so heavy!"
Me: "You dont choose to play sousaphone, it chooses you. Either that or the director forces you to since nobody wants to until they have."
by B 4 |\| |) G33k July 20, 2007
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N. A curvy penis, particular when the curvature is extreme and puts the tip of the penis in an unusual location.

Etymology - Describes a penis so curvy and knarly that it could wrap around one's body like a sousaphone.
"Hey, I need some condoms"

"Okay, what kind?"

"Uh... Model W31RD1C7"

"Damn awkward condom shoppers... HAHAHAHA YOU HAVE A SOUSAPHONE! Well if you were trying to get in my pants your shit out of luck buddy, I only fuck men who curve less than 30 degrees"
by qaerqg January 29, 2011
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