The government telling people to stay home, stock up on rice and pasta and toilet paper. Shut the blinds and hide inside, and binge watch Netflix and video games for a while till the threat is gone. Its not very strict since you can technically still go out for “essentials” like toilet paper and pop tarts. Certain places stay open, but a lot of places close.
Bay Area government: “We are ordering people to shelter in place beginning Tuesday March 17, for the next 3 weeks in response to the Coronavirus pandemic sweeping the world”

Hysteric Public: “wtf?!? I need to go to Safeway and get all the toilet paper! Then wait in line at Costco for 4 hours to get all the Purell to fill a bathtub to disinfect myself and bleach to disinfect my stomach! (Jk, don’t do that please. Bleach kills, DO NOT DRINK BLEACH!)”
Concerned public: “So it’s like a quarantine? Are we allowed to leave our homes? What about our jobs? And the (insert something here) convention this weekend?”
Bay Area government: “Not a quarantine, you can leave your home for essentials. Businesses deemed essential like grocery stores and petCo (dogs have to eat too) will remain open. Restaurants will have to close and do takeout/deliver only. Healthcare workers will continue. All public gatherings of like 10 or more people will have to be canceled, sorry. Also if you have to go out, keep a distance of 6’ between yourself and other people. So try not to freak out”
by WithoutWax March 17, 2020
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A government-funded sexual rekindling retreat for your parents
It’s week three of shelter-in-place and I can’t get the smell of my parents’ lube out of the furniture
by Justclowntingz May 14, 2020
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Forbidden to leave the house, they had shared every meal, slept, worked, read, watched videos and exercised side-by-side, hour after hour, every night and day for a very long time, and yet they were actually having a good time. She felt that if they survived this shelter-in-place-ionship they could survive anything.
by Monkey's Dad March 27, 2020
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