The shittiest place anyone could dare work. Synonomous with flamboyant douchebaggery, started by a man with the last name "Skaggs". Forced customer service regime and secret shoppers, workers who do not comply will be executed and sold as safeway select potted meat. Pay is below minimum wage and one may expect to have a throng of mentally handicapt co-workers. Three minute lunch breaks are permitted; one usually has to order food from the "service deli" inhabited by stoned fucktards and sandwiches made of decaying human entrails. Shitty value, high prices, fucktard co-workers, and shitty health care. Safeway sucks!
"Bo Jim, that retard you remember from school, is your manager at Safeway."
"That fucking safeway select sandwich i eat opened a vons chain in my small intestine."
"The safeway service deli food is to decaying human remains that arbys is to roadkill."
by jim jo bob November 01, 2005
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A crappy grocery store that sells stuff at rediculously high prices. The only cool thing about safeway is that alot of them dont have any security alarms and cameras. Making it a good place to score some free stuff.
I just made a beer run at safeway yesterday and got away with it because they're too cheap to put up security systems
by Someguy22 October 17, 2006
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Safeway (3rd Planet in the Supermarket Solar System)
Population: 200 poorly paid employees, 20 young wannabes with nothing to but hang out at a supermarket on a Saturday night, 10 angry old people with stupid questions, 50 or so middle aged soccer mum species who consider themselves to be the most superior species on the planet, and 5 to 6 managers wandering aimlessly doing nothing.
Orbit: Around the planet is a vast asteroid like field of 4WD Class Space ships piloted by soccer mums. Extremely hostile and dangerous! Take caution!
Environment: Employees are regularly subjected to the hostile natives and are forced to endure seasonal carol music non-stop for a month.
Recommendation: Avoid AT ALL COSTS!
"I got past the Soccer Mum asteroid field only to be rammed to death by a roving granny with a walking frame!"
by Employee November 30, 2003
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To screw up your schedule every week. To have only two aisles open even though there are eight. To have zero tolerance for any physical contact expect right handed handshakes. This includes consensual hugging, kissing, pat on back, between co-workers, vendors, friends, family members, and even fiancees and spouses. They consider this sexual harassment even though hugging is not sexual. This is rule fit for boot camps or prisons, and communist countries like Cuba, N Korea, Vietnam. This policy increases chances of drug abuse, depression, and work place violence and decreases employee chemistry due to oxytocin deficiency, bonding and cuddle hormone. Safeway slogan ingredients of life. Better slogan ingredients for oxytocin deficiency and poor worker chemistry. No employee has rogue's super powers.
I have class on Tues and Thurs between 8 Am and 3:15 Pm. They schedule me 12 pm to 4 pm. They schedule me on Saturdays 4 to 9 more often than not. I hugged a depressed girl the store says I committed sexual harassment even though the touching wasn't sexual. I wasn't her client I am not in a position of authority over her. Most people who hug children aren't pedophiles. They don't molest strangers or out in the open public. They wait until the child and family trust them. You risk long term unemployment if you work for safeway even when there is no recession.
by Fenwick Island April 05, 2010
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