portnoy 

an object or person that is of nuisance or an irritant, yet can't be easily rid of.

His neighbor asked him to watch the dog over the weekend, which turned out to be quite a portnoy.

A: "I started seeing this girl but I don't really like her, and now she won't leave me alone."
B: "You need to ditch that portnoy right now."

portnoy by The Count of Tuscany September 5, 2011

Portnoy 

noun
1. paper

adjective

2. paperlike

In the battle of Wall Street vs. Main Street, Barstool CEO Dave Portnoy followed the /r/wallstreetbets hype and purchased shares of GME, AMC, NOK, and NAKD. After announcing that he sold all of his meme stocks for a loss on February 2nd, 2021, he was given the nickname Dave "Paper Hands" Portnoy. This was due to his change in stance on the matter; a few days prior, Portnoy had proclaimed he would hold these stonks despite the losses.

Rock, Portnoy, Scissors for it?

Bro, don't be a Portnoy. Hodl the line.

One dip, everybody knows Portnoy bails.

Portnoy by DiamondHandedGorilla February 24, 2021

portnoy's complaint 

A book created by Phillip Roth. One would say it is about a Jewish kid losing his religion, until they notice the first 200 pages say "cunt" "pussy" "wad" "dong" "dork" "dick" "putz" or "fuck" at least twice a page. After that you could say it is about a Jewish kid losing his sex drive towards those whom he should stereotypically find atractive, Jewish girls, due to the actions of his parents.

"Hi"--softly, and with a little surprise, as though I might have met her somewhere before...

"To buy you a drink," I said.

"A real swinger," she said, sneering.

Sneering! Two seconds--and two insults! To the Assistant Commissioner of Human Opportunity for this whole city! "To eat your pussy, baby, how's that?" My God! She's going to call a cop! Who'll turn me in to the Mayor!

"That's better," she replied.

And so a cab pulled up, and we went to her apartment where she took off her clothes and said, "Go ahead."

Coolest fucking book ever.

portnoy's complaint by 6:47 AM June 10, 2005

Portnoy's Complaint 

A disorder in which strongly-felt ethical and altruistic impulses are perpetually warring with extreme sexual longings, often of a perverse nature...

Portnoy's Complaint. Best. Book. Ever.

Portnoy's Complaint by Ben Finkel October 7, 2005

Portnoy hands 

A trader who gets scared and sells. Then watches those with diamond hands land the profits

I wanted to hold, but I was a pussy. I had Portnoy hands. I sold early to watch my wife’s boyfriends rich uncles take all the profits

Portnoy hands by tharulerr June 25, 2021

Portnoy Maneuver

to hit the little "ding" cymbal at least once on each and every album that you've ever been in as the drummer

holy shit did you hear that ding? wow i didnt know that mike portnoy played in this album! he just did the portnoy maneuver! he's portnoying all over the place!!!!!!!!!!!!

Portnoy Maneuver by egumen May 17, 2026

Balls made of dave portnoy 

A figure of speech first coined on twitter in August 2020. When legendary barstool gambling investor Dave Portnoy panic sold his bitcoin and Link after a 2% drop

Descriptive Vernacular meaning the opposite of "balls of steel" due to Portnoys lack of balls leading him to panic sell when the market turned slightly bearish

Did you hear Simon panic sold his bitcoin last week and now it's worth triple?
Omg , he must have balls made of Dave Portnoy!

Yes, lol,scared off by a little volatility....

Balls made of dave portnoy by OldeTimer August 23, 2020