dead on my own schedule

When you make plans to do something with someone else, but when the time comes you're still asleep.

"Thanks, Karina. I really appreciate it."
"No problem. Now, go to sleep, we leave tomorrow."

You wake up, and head to Karina's room. She's still asleep.
"Karina," you say, shaking her by the shoulder.
"Huh? Wha? Huh?" she says, waking up.
"It's time to go. We're leaving today."
"Finally. I'm fucking dead on my own schedule."

by Fizar June 12, 2020

Not to butter my own toast

A phrase used before self praise in order to make oneself sound more modest

"Not to butter my own toast, but my fit is lookin mega fly today"

by Willththril April 19, 2021

Rather eat my own shit

Used to express that you really don’t want to do something.

Are you going to the football game? Hell no, I’d rather eat my own shit.

by SiL3Nt J September 9, 2023

My own silliness

I use my own silliness every night

I used my own silliness tonight

by Merlin vac engine May 16, 2022

up my own ass

Robert

Robert who passes GCSE'S but can't get it right in real life.

up my own ass is something Robert would say, and that's gay

by sirbennito July 23, 2021

Hoisted by my own re'tard

Thwarted by one's own stupidity.

I do the same thing every week, expecting a different result. I'm continually hoisted by my own re'tard.

by bumchutney February 7, 2022

pluck my own sparrows

Waxing your testicles

If this lockdown lasts much longer I'll be forced to pluck my own sparrows

by hooblemeyer February 12, 2021