Definitions by bumchutney

Hoisted by my own re'tard 

Thwarted by one's own stupidity.

I do the same thing every week, expecting a different result. I'm continually hoisted by my own re'tard.

Hoisted by my own re'tard by bumchutney February 7, 2022

Planc

A plastic Manc: idiots from the south of England who pretend to have some relationship with Manchester, and more specifically, Manchester United FC.

"Yeah, I've always supported Man United cos my great grandfather's aunty's next door neighbour had a cat that strayed to Manchester".

"Shut up Andy, you planc",

Planc by bumchutney April 16, 2015

Turd world problems

When you have sat down on the toilet for a shit, and you realise you don't have your smart phone.

Oh for fuck's sake, the turtle is poking his head out, and my phone is downstairs. Turd world problems are the worst.

Turd world problems by bumchutney September 21, 2014

chutney ferret 

Someone who frequents the arse region of another fellow. A chap who has an overwhelming hunger for bum chutney. A general prober of the male anus.

Once Jake had finished watching his DVD box set of Dancing on Ice, he popped round to Julian's house for a peppermint tea. What a chutney ferret.

chutney ferret by bumchutney February 9, 2013