mateu

A 6 foot fucking nerd who doesn’t get sleep and is on FaceTime all night. He likes to play football

Guy: did u see Mateu in the hallway
Guy 2: yeah he almost killed Rooper

by Mayo29 November 04, 2019

Mateus

A super hottie. Normally a guy with that name gets lots of pussy.

His name is Mateus

by I.Molest.Children.With.Rae.Pis March 19, 2019

Mateu

hottest man in the world, even people named jack want him

Jack: Mateu is so hot

by daijdwui9awghdyui0d February 06, 2022

Mateus

God's real name, or more accurately, the name of the real God. Mateus accidently created the Universe and humanity during his campaign against The Zombies. This is regarded by many as his greatest mistake. Currently resembles a cynical, annoying 16 year old in the U.S.

Mateus: "I'm sick of everyone worshiping that Jesus guy - my name's Mateus damn it. I'm bored - anyone know where I could find a good hooker?"

by Ninja13 February 23, 2008

Mateus

A magical jew fairy who does some trippy shit. Likes to frequently troll. It is unknown to the world but Mateus is the biggest skux of all time.

"Oh hey Mateus, hows it going?"

"Pretty average, only scored about 300 CHICKS!...................
LAST NIGHT!"

by aceboy27 June 12, 2011

Mateus

THE BEST PERSON EVER!! Amazingly talented and smart. Has amazing freckles and super HAWT

Oh wow what's his name? Oh that's Mateus, he's awesome isn't he?

by wait.for.it June 24, 2017

Mateus

A really hot person that anyone will love. If you where there friend never let go of them or your life will fall apart.if u are his girlfriend or wife them you are on of the luckiest person on earth. He might sometimes think you like someone else but he would still love you.he is caring and if someone try’s to hurt you he will protect you.

Person 1: wow that person is hot!!
Person2: i know right. It’s because his name is Mateus.

by _xlolx_ February 14, 2020