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lance jack

Jonesy has just been promoted from private to Lance Jack
by Johno1! August 2, 2017
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right lane jackass

Right lane jackass (n): Refers to a driver in the right lane of a multilane street approaching an intersection where the light is red; AND these four other conditions are present: 1) There is plenty of room to be in the middle lane, 2) The driver has no intention of turning right, 3) Cars behind the RLJ have their right blinkers on well in advance of the intersection in the hopes that the driver will notice and move to the other lane and allow them to turn right on red; however 4) The driver is clueless as to his or her surroundings.

Optional criteria, not required for the definition, but frequently present: 1) Drivers behind the RLJ with their blinkers on appear pissed. 2) The intersection has an unusually long cycle time before the light turns green, 3) There is virtually no cross traffic. 4) The RLJ's car has its fuel door open, with the gas cap hanging out.
Passenger: "My contractions are getting closer together. You need to take a right at the next intersection to get to the hospital!"
Driver: "Keep breathing Dear. I'll just put my right turn signal on so that guy in front of us knows to pull to the left before the intersection so we don't have to wait for that light."
Passenger: "He's not pulling over, he just stopped and blocked the right lane, and he's not even turning. Why would he do that?"
Driver: "because he's a right lane jackass and he's clueless. Better hold your legs closed, we may be here awhile"
by MeDavebo September 29, 2014
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left lane jackass

Left Lane Jackass (LLJ): A person driving in the left lane on a highway either at the speed limit or usually slightly below the limit AND the following conditions are present: 1) Another car or cars is behind them wanting to go faster; 2) The person driving is completely unaware of his or her surroundings.

The following conditions are not necessary for the definition, but are frequently observed: There is a blinker flashing and the driver is completely unaware of it and has no intention of changing lanes, and 2) The driver may be talking on a cell phone, putting on make-up, or daydreaming.

Supporting evidence includes: The drivers behind the LLJ appear pissed off, and 2) drivers behind the LLJ are usually tail-gaiting and flashing their lights, however, this usually has no effect, due to condition #2 of the definition.
Passenger: "Hey, is there a traffic jam ahead?"
Driver: No, it's another left lane jackass.
Passenger: Just get a little closer to him, I'm sure he'll move over when he notices us.
Driver: He's frigging clueless, and doesn't even know that I'm 12 inches from his bumper. I think he's talking on his cell phone.
by MeDavebo September 29, 2014
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Jackson Lane Change

While having sex, going from vagina to anus and back again, with no set pattern or frequency.
That girl from Ole Miss got a UTI last week because her ex-boyfriend pulled a Jackson Lane Change on her after the debutante ball.
by Terkitron February 19, 2008
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