kitchen sink conlang
(noun)-A conlang(a constructed language), usually made by an amateur conlanger who thinks that they can make their own language more interesting by cramming it with as many rare and weird features that they can possibly find so that their language becomes more 'cool', 'unique' and 'non-Englishy', but ends up being so overly complicated and hard to understand that it just results in an unholy mess
Anthony(new to conlanging): Hey Bob, I made my own language for a world building project I'm doing!
Bob(unknowing of what's about to come): Oh cool, can you show it to me?
Anthony: It's a polysynthetic split-ergative strongly head initial Navajo-Basque-Mongolian inspired language with polypersonal agreement, 6 numbers singular, dual, trial, paucal, collective and plural, 69 grammatical cases, 13 different types of evidentiality such as visual, auditory, olfactory, gustatory, tactile, reportative, hearsay, folktale, book-read, guessed, made-up, someone-told-me-but-I-don't-remember-who and known-lie, 19 different genders, 15 different tenses like present, just-before, an-hour-ago, earlier-today, yesterday, the-day-before-yesterday, a-week-ago, before that, a-moment-later, an-hour-later, later-today, tomorrow, the-day-after-tomorrow, a week later, after that, 12 different tones, a base-60 numeral system, OVS word order, 100 different clicks, a voiced linguolabial trill, only voiceless vowels, seven voiceless pharyngeal trills, a CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCVCCCCCCCCCCCCC syllable structure, noun incorporation, twenty degrees of politeness, an abugida-logo-abjad hybrid writing system, and a word for every single rgb colour value. I made it to imitate how real languages work so that my fictional race of dog-headed creatures with dragon wings in my novel trilogy feels more realistic and alive.
Bob: Bruh that is literally the worst kitchen sink conlang I have ever seen
Bob(unknowing of what's about to come): Oh cool, can you show it to me?
Anthony: It's a polysynthetic split-ergative strongly head initial Navajo-Basque-Mongolian inspired language with polypersonal agreement, 6 numbers singular, dual, trial, paucal, collective and plural, 69 grammatical cases, 13 different types of evidentiality such as visual, auditory, olfactory, gustatory, tactile, reportative, hearsay, folktale, book-read, guessed, made-up, someone-told-me-but-I-don't-remember-who and known-lie, 19 different genders, 15 different tenses like present, just-before, an-hour-ago, earlier-today, yesterday, the-day-before-yesterday, a-week-ago, before that, a-moment-later, an-hour-later, later-today, tomorrow, the-day-after-tomorrow, a week later, after that, 12 different tones, a base-60 numeral system, OVS word order, 100 different clicks, a voiced linguolabial trill, only voiceless vowels, seven voiceless pharyngeal trills, a CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCVCCCCCCCCCCCCC syllable structure, noun incorporation, twenty degrees of politeness, an abugida-logo-abjad hybrid writing system, and a word for every single rgb colour value. I made it to imitate how real languages work so that my fictional race of dog-headed creatures with dragon wings in my novel trilogy feels more realistic and alive.
Bob: Bruh that is literally the worst kitchen sink conlang I have ever seen
kitchen sink conlang by Wormhole512729 March 17, 2023
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