kentucky trumpet 

An advanced sexual practice where the male adopts a scissor position with the female and farts into her vagina

For further advanced techniques see - nasty oyster cincinnati ram-rod

David: "Things went a bit crazy with stacy last night. I filled her up with a Kentucky Trumpet!"

Matt: "Your the Boss!"

kentucky trumpet by Dr Bajashooze August 24, 2011

Kentucky Mud Trumpet 

n. a sex act in which a male straddles himself above the face of his partner (male or female) who is lying on their posterior side. the other partner proceeds to give the standing male a handy (i.e. manual stimulation of the penile organ). whilst receiving said handy, the male places the large end of a cooking funnel under his anus. ideally the male will have eaten a large amount of shwarma for the sex act to have the maximum impact. as the male receiving the handy nears completion, he strains his bowels, thusly relieving himself of all excrement into the funnel; the small end of the funnel is conveniently stored in the other partner's mouth. All of the liquidy stool will be stored in the partner's mouth while the other ejaculates. There are two endings to this situation. The partner with the fecal matter in his/her mouth can swallow or spit into a freezer mug. A variation on the sex act involves spitting the fecal matter back into his/her lover's mouth, who then spit's that fecal matter/saliva/vomit into the other's butthole. This can be repeated ad infinitum. This variation is known as a Louisville Mud Flugelhorn. When multiple people daisy chain this act together it is known as a Kentucky Mud Trumpet Derby.

Tony: Dude did you hear about a Kentucky Mud Trumpet

Bob: No

Tony: Yeah, it's pretty gross dude.

Bob: Sweeet.

Kentucky Mud Trumpet by viado_pra_caralho December 7, 2012