kelp

an undersea cabbage.

i swam amongst kelp in the sea.

by eug [the almighty kelp] February 11, 2004

Kelping

To have intercourse with a man, covered in kelp, to create the illusion of being a kelp monster. Whenever the girl attempts to scream or moan, the man slaps her with his kelp hands.

Mike was kelping Chelsea on Saturday. He kelped her up, down, sideways, all across town and back.

by Bronos July 30, 2015

kelp

A conversation made up entirely of dead birds...

Joe: That movie was amazing!

Sam: Sure, if you've got a map of it.

Joe: But the kelp is really green this year.

Sam: I like barbecue.

...and the conversation continues like this until someone screams or the world explodes.

by Jack the fridge monkey July 05, 2010

kelp

Used in place of cool, chill, ok, etc.

Does 6:30 sound good to meet up?
Yah, kelp.

by B Fair May 12, 2008

Kelp

Low grade Marijuana that is stringy and inexplicably moist like someone sprinkled water on it.

Hey that bag of kelp you sold me didn't even get me high.

by jerkschicken June 29, 2010

Kelp

A guy who is whipped, and sucks up to you just to get some.
Also who uses excessive smiley faces, and when he wants to hang out claims he's busy and will "stop by."

Guy: Yeah girl I love chick flicks, we can watch them whenever :) :) :)
Girl: You are seriously such a kelp.

by madiara February 09, 2010

kelp

it is a shit

look at that kelp

by the clit commander April 11, 2003