jerky treats 

n. Hand jobs. Term first heard on C.S.I. on 1 Feb 2007. Plays off the phrase jerk off, while managing to sound innocuous--like a dog treat.

"Did you have sex with the clients?"
"No, just jerky treats."

jerky treats by SkidMarkyMark February 6, 2007

jerky treats 

Photographs or videos you look at while masturbating.

Every time I find a hot new picture I save it to my desktop for jerky treats!

jerky treats by Black@Heart November 18, 2009

jerky treat 

A Female over the age of 42. This "jerky treat" was at one point an atractive young lady. HOWEVER, years of over tanning, smoking and drinking, has given her skin a dry loose feel. The skin's color has yet to be defined. Also by definition the true "jerky treat" still thinks she's HOT!!
The hard laugh, followed by a chunky sounding cough is a sure sign a "jerky treat" is nearby.

Skin= Looks like the beef jerky in that bucket at your corner store.

Skin= Feels like a piece of bacon in a condom.

The lady at work that talks dirty to you on her way to smoke break.

Jerky Treats drink Tons of Red Wine OR Vodka. The Red Wine drinker says "they are not big drinkers" BUT 6 glasses later their left breast has oozed out on the table and they are spitting when they talk.

jerky treat by Scott B September 3, 2008