Hoboken Squat Cobbler

The act of someone in costume sitting on a pie and wiggling around. It is a sexual fetish and may involve crying.

Taken from Season 2 / Episode 2 of Better Call Saul

Detective 1: So, fully clothed Mr. Wormald by himself doing what?
Detective 2: Yeah, come on, man. What?
Jimmy McGill: sighs Squat cobbler.
Detective 1: What's a s-squat cobbler?
Jimmy McGill: Squat cobbler. You know what squat cobbler is.
Detective 1: No, I don't... I don't know what a squat cobbler is.
Detective 2: No, me neither. What is it?
Jimmy McGill: What? And you two guys are cops? Hoboken Squat Cobbler. Full Moon Moon Pie. Boston Crème Splat. Seriously? Simple Simon the Ass Man. Dutch Apple Ass. Guys, am I not speaking English here?
Detective 1: What the hell is a squat cobbler?!
Jimmy McGill: It's when a man sits in pie! He sits in a pie! And he... he wiggles around. Maybe it's like Hellman's Mayonnaise. It has a different name west of the Rockies. I don't know. But, uh, technically, he does a crybaby squat, so there's tears, which makes it more specialized. Not all pie sitters cry. But I'm gonna tell you something: This guy? He's a regular Julianne Moore once he gets the waterworks cranked up.
Detective 2: Pies? What? Like apple?
Jimmy McGill: Guys, I'm not the filmmaker here, all right? Banana cream. I... uh, peach. Oh, and there... And there is a costume involved.
Detective 1: snorts You've got to be shittin' us.
Jimmy McGill: Yeah, like I would make this up. Hey, the world is a rich tapestry, my friends. But trust me on this. You don't want to see it.

by zednotzee April 19, 2016

Hoboken Squat Cobbler

A sexual fetish whereby one sits naked in a pie and wiggles around. Crying is optional. Aka: Full Moon Pie, Boston Cream Splat, Simple Simon the Ass Man

Danny spent half an hour at the bakery deliberating between blueberry and cherry for his Hoboken Squat Cobbler, but what difference could it make since his ass has no taste buds?

by Buffy Trace April 28, 2016

Hoboken Squat Cobbler

From AMC's Better Call Saul, a Hoboken Squat Cobbler involves a naked man sitting down on a pie and wiggling around. Crying may or may not be involved. It’s a fetish. Synonyms include the Full Moon Pie, the Boston Cream Splat, Simple Simon the Ass Man.

No, he wasn’t hiding drugs. He was hiding a video of him doing the Hoboken Squat Cobbler.

by OliveHoliday February 25, 2016

hoboken squat cobbler

Per Better Call Saul 2.2, it's when a fully dressed man sits in pie and squirms around. If he produces tears, it's a special crybaby squat. It's art, and there is a costume involved.

He needs some alone time to get busy with his Hoboken squat cobbler movies .

by Scarlett Vale February 27, 2016

hoboken squat cobbler

Hoboken Squat Cobbler involves a naked man sitting down on a pie and wiggling around. Crying may or may not be involved. It’s a fetish.

I had my Hoboken squat cobbler videos stolen

by mcallirm April 28, 2016

hoboken squat cobbler

A sexual fetish act involving a single person and a pie or cake. The participant begins by sitting or dipping his/her rear end into the Pie. They then proceed to wiggle around their rear in the pie until it is completely destroyed.

Susie: What do you want to do when I come over later?

Bobby: How about the same thing we did after dinner last weekend?

Susie: Hoboken Squat Cobbler?

Bobby: Now we're talking. I'll grab a banana cream & a strawberry rhubarb from our fav bakery on the way home from the office.

by JLCNY25 February 27, 2016

Hoboken squat cobbler

The act of sitting on a pie fully clothed for your or someone else's erotica pleasure.

He makes Hoboken squat Cobbler videos for his patron.

by Replicant84 April 21, 2016