The scottish term 'help ma' boab' refers to something owned by the individual, which requires help. The particular thing requiring help is the 'boab' aka 'boaby'. The 'boab' aka 'mydingalingaling' is the sausage shaped piece of the human anatomy which is found in the male gender of the species.
Wullie: dr dr i've been gettin some real pains down below like, ya ken!
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.