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Helm of Disintegration 

A magical helm item used in Dungeons & Dragons as described by Peter Griffin. Used to seduce naughty school girls. (Other definition notes that it is a World of Warcraft item but Peter Griffin is describing Dungeons & Dragons character stats).
Lois: "Ohh I need a spanking, I'm a bad, bad girl."

Peter: "I'm a paladin with an 18 charisma and 97 hit points. I can use my helm of disintegration and do 1d4 damage as my half-elf mage wields his +5 holy avenger."

Lois: "Paladins can't use the helm of disintegration!"

Peter: "Oh... Okay, then, I'm a Black Guy."

helm of disintegration 

A magical warcraft item that only exists on family guy. Also, cannot be used by paladins. apparently incredibly erotic.
Lois: I'm a naughty school girl, and i need to be punished!
Peter: i'm a level eighty paladin... something something something helm of disintegration.
Lois: Paladins can't wield the helm of disintegration!
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