When you are banging a girl from behind through the bottom of your Tommy Bahama shorts, wearing a tucked in pink polo shirt, while watching CNBC and or reading the Wall Street Journal screaming "Fuck me you dirty little derivative."

Last week I halperted this cute I-banking chick I picked up at Barnes and Nobles in the Business section

halpert by Sammy Franfurter January 2, 2009

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Halpert

Halpert(verb)
When your friend makes a bad joke so you overreact so he won't feel bad...

Example
Me: *Tells a joke*
Friend: omg so fucking funny I cant ahahah🤣😂🤣😂
Me: did you just halpert me?

Halpert by Thehoemaker December 26, 2020

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Halpert

Only the most beautiful human being you'll ever meet. This amazing green-eyed Uruguayan guy is probably the cutest, most intelligent person ever. He'll teach you new things everyday and will always make you laugh. He gives the best hugs that make you feel safe and warm. He has the freaking best taste in music and is so knowledgeable. He will constantly blow you away with his complex mind and his ability to think deeper than anyone else. He is the kindest, most caring person who always wants to help others. He's the type to relax and watch movies with under a blanket AND the type to go out traveling and trying new things with. His will-power to do what makes him happy shows he'll definitely be going places in life. He especially loves to crunk and grunk. His amazing snuggling skills and taking hints (if you know what I mean) will always leave you missing him when he's not around. You'll be the luckiest person if you can find yourself a Halpert.

"I met the most amazing guy in the world today"
"Oh, do you mean you met a Halpert??"

Halpert by Itsbeesly October 3, 2017

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Halpert Hair

Having long uncombed hair that resembles Jim's from The Office.

I woke up this morning and had some crazy halpert hair goin.

Halpert Hair by Dan5999 November 7, 2007

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Halpert's Disease

A psychological compulsion in which the individual reacts to a stressful situation by looking sarcastically at a camera, real or imaginary. Named after the fictional character, Jim Halpert of the US Office.

"What the hell are you looking at?"
"I don't know, I... thought there was a camera..."
"Dude, you might have Halpert's disease."

Halpert's Disease by TheWisemanWB September 30, 2020

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Pee Calculus

When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.

I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.

Pee Calculus by anorlondo October 1, 2026

Word of the Day on October 2, 2026

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Dutty

Literally "dirty" pronounced with a West Indian accent. Can also have a positive connotation, for example Sean Paul's album title "Dutty Rock".

"The girl is pretty but she corrupt and dutty!"

or, in a positive usage:

"Booya! That freestyle was dutty!"

Dutty by J Hall April 3, 2003

Word of the Day on October 1, 2026

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