grasper 

noun. A person who believes, argues, or attempts something that is impossible/improbable while under the false impression that it is possible/probable. A grasper might attempt to date someone out of his/her range or argue that his favorite team is going to win the championship despite not having done so in decades. Often, graspers meekly make self-serving arguments that stretch logic. Derived from the phrase "grasping at straws". Made popular originally in the DC area by WJKF's Sports Junkies.

1. Person A: "There's a good chance the Redskins win the Super Bowl this year with Rex Grossman."
Person B: "You are such a grasper."

2. That bar is filled with graspers trying to score with hot chicks.

grasper by Grasper Parnevik April 4, 2011

Grasper 

Another word for "Molester" or "Pedophile" mainly used by people with high intellect.

"I think Uncle Larry is a Grasper. Last night he was standing in my doorway with his BallZach out!"

Grasper by SackLover42 October 7, 2020

shaft-grasper 

One who subconsciously holds a bottle with both hands as though it is an erect penis.

Russell Brand commenting on host Mika Brzezinski during an interview on MSNBC's Morning Joe: "... the way you're touching that bottle... She's grasping for the shaft! She's a shaft-grasper."

shaft-grasper by rmcanada June 20, 2013

Shaft grasper 

A shaft grasper is a woman inclined to holding on to the male organ with both hands. The shaft grasper is particularly obsessed with using the male sexual organ as some sort of symbolic status object. The longer she can hold on the better.
The shaft grasper is therefore not interested in providing relief of an ejaculatory matter, rather solely in maintaining the erect condition of the male organ and holding on for dear life. Shaft graspers are well known for gesturing their shaft grasping obsession with random objects like microphones, water bottles or other phallus like objects.
Shaft grasping is well known for causing blue balls.

Bob:"Did you see how Amy was stroking that water-bottle while talking to me?"
Tom:"Watch out bro she's definitely a shaft grasper"

Shaft grasper by fruitbeer June 19, 2013

greedy grasper 

Person in pot rotation that keeps trying to grab the bong and/or blunt.

Tom: Hey man! You wanna call Jack and see if he wants to smoke? Bill: No way! That guy is totally a greedy grasper!

greedy grasper by sedmond kuecl October 21, 2010

tree grasper 

1. To grab a tree for sexual reasons.
2. To hump a tree.
3. Replacement of hands for a male.

This word has deranged from Basher, an American Citizen. It will be used all around the world.

Ryan is a tree grasper.

tree grasper by Basher August 29, 2003

ball grasper 

To grasp a persons balls of the same sex

To speak of ones name or speak of another male unconsistingly is ball grasping

Mr.dvst8 is a ball grasper

ball grasper by can i live July 11, 2006