Fap, Crap & Nap

To Masturbate, poo, then rest. aka, the perfect afternoon.

"omg, what a day! All I want to do is get home so I can fap, crap & nap"

by SuperDuperGalen December 23, 2011

fap crap and nap

Fap crap and nap comprises the three most important facets to a daily regimen. Masturbation, defecation and siesta. It should be performed in that order for maximum efficacy. It is often utilised by university students as a means to maximise brainpower where required.

Student 1: Mate class sucks today, I don't know how much longer I can endure it.
Student 2: Yeah bro might be time to ditch and hit that FCN.
Student 1: Yeah a fap crap and nap will definitely perk me up.

Both students receive high distinctions despite missing 2/3 of class for the semester.

by Dr_Rhodez November 25, 2016

Crap Fap

Alternate slang for the act of masturbation or "fapping" but using diarrhea as lubricant.

Jack N. Off: "Masturbating is getting too expensive these days. I can't afford KY."
Ijer Kit: "Start crap fapping. Diarrhea is free, isn't it?"

by Ching Mang Wong February 17, 2009

Crap Fap

A take on "holy crap." But in this case, more to do with self-masturbation. Used when someone does or says a complete lie or exaggeration to make self better than he/she seems.

Joe: I have a weekend job.
Jim: Oh yea? I volunteer at the shelter. What do you do?
Joe: *thinking hard on his feet, makes something up* I'm a burlesque dancer named Emerald Princess. I do all this for charity, of course.
Jim: ... Crap Fap.

by KatoDado September 6, 2009

Fap N’ Crap

When someone rubs one out while taking a shit on the pooperfarten.

IRS Agent 1: Why is he taking so long to open the door?

IRS Agent 2: He’s probably doing the classic fap n’ crap.

by uncleGhandalf May 14, 2020

Fap crap

Leftover "stuff" from you fapping. You don't clean and it eventually dries up onto the floor/bed/whatever.

I gotta clean my bed. I've got so much fap crap on those sheets...

by Retard_Ryan March 9, 2023