dick tampon 

Pieces of toilet paper that get stuck to your dick. The pieces roll up beneath your foreskin and absorb urine throughout the day.

Man I got some toilet paper stuck to my dick last night. But it's fine because it turned into a dick tampon and kept my dick dry!

dick tampon by LobsterHustle May 5, 2017

tampon dick

semi-equivalent to a "pencil dick" although has a slightly larger circumference.

"So I met this guy last night, and he totally had a tampon dick, why the hell would I have sex with a guy with a dick that size when I could just use a tampon and get the same results?"

tampon dick by FlatG2 July 1, 2007

Tampon Dick Fart

1. A friend who is very nice to you, because he treats you with respect and dignity because of your personality and looks.
2. Can be found at CVS for $1.99.
3. Your teacher who gives you many quizzes.
4. Your mom or dad's Chinese name, or favorite food.

I said to my friend, because I looked up the definition on UrbanDictionary.com, "Hey (insert name here), you are a Tampon Dick Fart."

Tampon Dick Fart by Hugh G. Rekshion December 31, 2008

Dick, Shit Tampon 

When your girl is on her period you can use the "Dick Shit Tampon" as an alternative to costly pads and stuff. Make sure you have a lot of fiber in your diet because firm shits work best. First, you fuck her for a little bit to get her pussy opened up and the juices flowing (if your dick is smaller than your shit you may choose to use a dildo to begin the lubrication and widening process). You can then cum in her for good measure (optional, but highly recommended). After this, you proceed to line up your asshole with her gaping cunt and slowly ease in your "Shit Tampon". This will save you the outrageous cost of stupid feminine products and the embarrassment of walking through the store with them. If you are eating regularly, you can replace the tampons often which is good for hygiene. It is recommended that you change the tampon daily, or every other day if she's being a bitch about it.

Your Lady: "Honey, will you go to the store and get me some tampons?"

You: "Come on, bitch, I'm not going to the store. Relax and I'll give you a 'Dick, Shit Tampon'."

Your Lady: "Great idea! You know, 'Dick, Shit Tampons' are more absorbent than other leading brand tampons."

Dick, Shit Tampon by Chommer Commanche April 5, 2009

Dick Tamping

The bizarre act seen in many porn films whereby a distinguished gentleman or gracious lady with strap-on, grips the base of the phallus and lightly taps it upon the meaty buttock-flesh of a partner presenting themselves by resting on the knees and hands (or elbows (...or face)). The most likely explanation for this phenomenon was offered by Professor Archibald Knobblyknackers of Christ College, Oxford, who theorised that the action was originally designed to test the hollowness of the awaiting bung-hole after the disastrous attempt by a disoriented Ron Jeremy to sodomise a helpless-yet-impenetrable Venus De Milo prop, which resulted in an imploded bellend and the brief resurrection of Michelangelo Batio for vengeance, who was given licence to murder twelve pigeons after a hazardous filing error and accidental double-lifing on account of the fact he wasn’t dead in the first place. Thus, dick tamping was subsequently invented as a safety precaution to ensure adequate space for a ram-passage, or to check for cockroaches or something.

‘Always precede any acts of quadrapedal intercourse with thorough dick tamping. If you are not sure whether it is safe to proceed, do not risk entry under any circumstances and contact your appointed fire official, where the offending buttocks will be taken away to be incinerated’ – the Porn Safety Handbook

Dick Tamping by 535 October 9, 2012