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craibs

A fusion of aids and cancer.
That guy is so stupid man!

Ya, he got Craibs in his head.
by dernst38 December 7, 2015
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Teaching Crabs How To Read

Verb,

1. The action of teaching crabs how to read

2. The process by which crustaceans are made literate,

Both of these are considered Forbidden Knowledge of the highest order, and must never be spoken of, outside of complete secrecy. Many a fine man has fallen to the curiosity of teaching literacy to crabs, and have been executed or imprisoned- or worse- for their crimes.

Teaching crabs how to read is a gateway crime, in the ancient days, many of the most infamous dark lords used literate crabs as minions, for it allowed them to use more powerful and complex methods to expand their dominion over our small realm. In the darkest of days, crabs as big as houses would be sent in droves to raze cities, Whole countries were brought to their knees by the terrors wrought by the dark lords and their armies.

The last of the Literate Ones, as they are known by Crabfolk, was slain in AD 1356.

Ever since, the Crabfolk have lived in harmony with humankind.
Billy got burned at the stake for heresy!
I heard he was teaching crabs how to read!
by Lanse Grimez January 31, 2022
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Crabs in the bucket

People who are stuck in bad situations. Who drag you down with them

Comes from what happens when u place crabs in a bucket. One trys to escape the others grab their legs and try to escape so it ends up they all never get out.
Them people they just crabs in the bucket. U gotta get away from them
by Tom pnoid June 11, 2015
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craigshook

not to be confused with craigs-hook, this is an offensive term used to describe someone's lover or mistress that, as the name implies, they picked up as a result of a previous craigs-hook, which evolved into an on-the-side (lover or mistress) relationship.
a hard working husband comes home from work, only to find his wife in bed with their friend's teenage son. he then asks his wife:

husband: um,Barbara sweetie, what exactly do you think you are doing? Is Kyle your new craigshook?

wife: no, Adrian. well, yes he is a craigs-hook, since I picked him up on Craigslist and he asked me to decougar him.

husband (adressing the teenager): so you are a mommy-grabber, you bastard? If so, you don't deserve a a craigs-hook with my wife, but a bloody left hook. And you don't deserve to be my wife's craigshook either, since I will now kick you out of my house for ever.
by Sexydimma February 22, 2012
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Craigslist

A website that makes people inherently dumber. Used as a way to post advertisements for the selling of items and services, it is now overrun with the stupid. Any description of an item is completely ignored, and subsequent idiotic questioning follows. In the off-chance that someone actually gets to the point of making an offer for an item, any listed price is ignored and a low-ball offer is made. A trade may also be offered, whether or not this has been mentioned as an alternative to cash payment. The idiocy is not entirely limited to the buyer, as there are many occasions where a seller is contacted and then has no idea what they are selling. Because there are so many stupid people on Craigslist, many scams have been set up to take advantage of this. There are multiple types of schemes in place to try to take these people's money, often successfully. Despite Craigslist's best efforts and numerous warnings against these scams, most users are often too dense to realize that they are about to be financially raped, and possibly physically as well as there are many listings for sexual encounters.
Buyer: "Yo you got that gixxer for sale on Craigslist bro?"
Seller: "It's not a Suzuki GSX-R, it's a Honda CBR1000. Yes I'm still selling it for $5,500."
Buyer: "Alright yo, so you'll take $2000 then?"
Seller: "No."
Buyer: "What about a set of Bridgestone tires?"
Seller: "No."

Example 2

Buyer: "Hi I'm calling about the motorcycle you have listed on Craigslist. Is it still for sale?"
Seller: "What motorcycle?"
Buyer: "You have a 2007 Suzuki listed for $4800 on Craigslist. Is it still for sale or is it sold?"
Seller: "......."
Buyer: "So you didn't list a 2007 Suzuki for $4800?"
Seller: "Oh yeah yeah yeah my bad bro. Nah it's sold."
by Benrama34 May 1, 2014
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Crabslap

The act of slapping a sexual partner in the face with crab meat in a sexual manner.
After my anal discharge Hunter crabslaps me in the face.
by Rageyy December 27, 2010
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Crabs in a Bucket

Used to describe a person (or subculture) that does everything in it's power to destroy the ambitions of those among them who wish to improve themselves.

It comes from the story of catching crabs in a bucket. When you catch a crab and place him in a bucket, the first thing he'll try to do is escape. Now, if you put two crabs in a bucket (hence the plural form of 'Crabs in a Bucket') and place them in there together, as soon as one tries to climb up out of the bucket the other will grab the escaping crab by the legs and try to escape itself, to which the process gets repeated to the point where NO crabs end up escaping.
Carl: "Isn't it a shame honey? How Johnny and Bobby are always constantly jabbing at (and insulting) eachother whenever they approach a group of girls, trying to make themselves look better than the other?"

Linda: "Exactly, they're like a bunch 'crabs in a bucket', they both end up as losers.
by Skaterrazz September 27, 2008
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