cordwangler
A type of cheese referenced in "Bagenders", a popular AU Lord of the Rings fan fiction, that sadly is no longer updated. The full name of the cheese is "Old Cordwangler's Extra Blue Fantastically Mature".
The flavour and smell are supposed to be so violently strong that the cheese has actually taken on the ability to move, and attacks those who are near it.
It it used as a gimmick in Season 2, Episode 3, "The Dream Fridge" when Boromir posesses the fellowship's fridge and they are attempting different ways to excorcise him. Link to the story: http://tinyurl.com/9n8wp
It now basically just refers to a very smelly cheese.
The flavour and smell are supposed to be so violently strong that the cheese has actually taken on the ability to move, and attacks those who are near it.
It it used as a gimmick in Season 2, Episode 3, "The Dream Fridge" when Boromir posesses the fellowship's fridge and they are attempting different ways to excorcise him. Link to the story: http://tinyurl.com/9n8wp
It now basically just refers to a very smelly cheese.
"I'd like a quarter pound of Old Cordwangler's, please."
"Come through to the back room."
A heavy table, covered in scorch marks, sat in the centre of the room. On top of it was a thick glass bell jar, firmly bolted to the table. Through the translucent green of the glass could be seen... the cheese. Chained down, it occasionally hurled itself ineffectually at the glass.
Mr. George handed a spanner to the lad. "Release the bolts."
He tentatively approached the table. The cheese, sensing his fear, redoubled its efforts on the glass. Mr. George held the top of the bell jar firmly as the bolts were released.
"Now, lad, when I lift the glass you slide the cheese board under it."
The jar was lifted. The cheese leapt, and as it did the cheese board was slid under it. Now the lad held it down while Mr. George took hold of the diamond edged cheese wire. He looked up at Aragorn. "A quarter pound was it?" has asked, conversationally as the lad wrestled the squirming cheese.
Aragorn nodded.
"Come through to the back room."
A heavy table, covered in scorch marks, sat in the centre of the room. On top of it was a thick glass bell jar, firmly bolted to the table. Through the translucent green of the glass could be seen... the cheese. Chained down, it occasionally hurled itself ineffectually at the glass.
Mr. George handed a spanner to the lad. "Release the bolts."
He tentatively approached the table. The cheese, sensing his fear, redoubled its efforts on the glass. Mr. George held the top of the bell jar firmly as the bolts were released.
"Now, lad, when I lift the glass you slide the cheese board under it."
The jar was lifted. The cheese leapt, and as it did the cheese board was slid under it. Now the lad held it down while Mr. George took hold of the diamond edged cheese wire. He looked up at Aragorn. "A quarter pound was it?" has asked, conversationally as the lad wrestled the squirming cheese.
Aragorn nodded.
cordwangler by Old Cordwangler Himself July 20, 2008
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