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Minnesota term - in noun form usually referring to an inbred ear biter with a snarfing problem. As a verb it describes drooling on one's self and/or attempting to bite one's own ear.
Noun: Man, Jesse's gotta lay off the booze, he's turning into a cooney.

Verb: Look at that kid sitting in the corner cooneying... someone tell him he'll never be able to bite his own ear.
by Meesta Mosha September 19, 2007
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From the Irish Gaelic Ó Cuana. Cuana may be derived from the word for "handsome", or the given name CUÁN, meaning "little wolf" or "little hound". The Cooney sept originated in County Tyrone in Northern Ireland and spread south and west, and is now principally found in Northern Connaught. The motto for the name Cooney is 'Virtue is the only nobility, and the shield is a silver arrow with the tip pointing to the left above the forward-facing palm and fingers of the right hand on a green field.

In various forms, the name dates back to the 12th century. It is first associated with County Tyrone then in the province of Connaught, in the townland of Ballycooney, Loughrea barony, in County Galway, then to County Clare, County Mayo, and Dublin.

Alternate spellings are O'Conney, Coony, Coonahan, Coonihan, Coonie, Coonan, Coumey, (Coomey) and Cooihan. Alternate spellings of O'Cuana are Cuana, Coona, O Cuanaic, and O'Cuanaich. Some with the name, Coonifer, Coonihan and Coumey, the latter mainly from County Cork, have been changed into Cooney.
Cooney's got skill!
You messed with the wrong Cooney!
I wish I had a friend like Cooney!
by @AC639 August 06, 2013
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a poor/lame joke aka a failed attempt
random convo between mates goin to the footy

Q: "so how many tickets am i getting for the footy... il get them tonight"

A: a million

the above answer would be classified as a cooney
by jimbobcoondog July 13, 2009
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ADJECTIVE - to be super cool, athletic, handsome, rich, and smooth. just about everything a woman wants in a man.
girl 1: john-kyle didnt even take me out for valentines day.
girl 2: wow, that sucks. my boyfriend nick took my on a cruise!
girl 1: unbelievable. i wish john-kyle was as cooney as your boyfriend.
by randyspaghetti February 23, 2009
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A bar located in Kylertown, Pennsylvania. The bar is packed on Saturday nights with men and women who are usually dressed in camouflage attire. The majority of the people do not have high school diplomas and the women have attitudes like Naomi Campbell, but the looks of a wildebeest. It's always a good time, good food, and good music.
Hey Larry, wanna hit up Cooney's tonight?
Ya dude, I haven't got laid in a while.

Alright cool, we'll bring some heavy loads back to the camp after.
by CoryB35 January 02, 2011
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A guy with an extremely large vagina who is butthurt about everything in life. He fakes everything. Someone who is jealous about his 6th grade crush. A kid who loves attention whenever he can get it and adores pizza, would shove his face in it when he gets the chance. Also he lives on the roof with his family.
Ricky: I'm gonna go to the pizzeria to get pizza then jump off a roof to get attention.
Bobby: Ok you Cooney.
by grumpy dog March 10, 2017
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the act of being whipped, one that is whipped, one whose girlfriend has tied a rope around his testicles and drags him around to which he freely and enjoyably follows
> Yo nick has been cooneyed he is sooo whipped
by smegma man and you an asshole February 26, 2009
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