Comforting Mrs. Rosen

Euphemism for sticking your dick where it doesn't belong.

Origin: Don Draper's explanation to his daughter, Sally, after she walked in on him sleeping with a neighbor.

Where have you been?

Oh, I was just comforting Mrs. Rosen.

All night long?

She was really upset.

Comforting Mrs. Rosen by pajiba June 10, 2013

comforting a dead one 

Attempting to re-arouse an overused johnson

woman: shall we love? it is a special night afterall...

man: you can try but after all the self pleasuring ive just indulged in you would just be comforting a dead one

comforting a dead one by berrylads August 18, 2011

comforting snail 

The use of one's thumb to comfort someone when they are upset. The comforter applies their thumb in a comforting circular motion to the comfortee's upper arm, usually whilst saying "comforting snail" to avoid unnecessary confusion. The circular motion is created using the joint of the thumb - not the arm.
The concept is akin to "awkward turtle".

The level of comfort provided by comforting snail is very versatile and can be used in almost any situation. Avoid bereavements.

Charlotte: Ohh no i just dropped my fork!
Wendy: *Comforting snail*

comforting snail by Tnetennba:) June 30, 2011

comforting fiction

An untruth we tell ourselves, or tell others, to keep from having to face facts, and to ease us through hard times.

Just wash your hands and you'll be fine, warm weather will make it disappear, only old people can die from it... one comforting fiction after another could not disguise the truth that we were all in for a long, painful journey.

comforting fiction by Monkey's Dad April 15, 2020

Comforting lies 

1. A control mechanism aimed at the preservation of status quo. In the most generic sense, comforting lies are aimed to prevent individuals from realizing full spontenaity, i.e., to exit from cognitive structures of illusion. These lies are typically diffused by thoses representatives of this world that are no longer able to transcend illusion and substantively serve as means for the reproduction of illusion.

2. Direction of change in education. Students increasingly learn to avoid painful truths or anything that is unpleasant. They do not want to hear ideas that are contrary to their beliefs.

There is a special day when individuals who enter a house to listen to the conversation become means for the diffusion of comforting lies.

Comforting lies by Burning one May 29, 2018

A comforting chimney sweeper 

A comforting chimney sweeper referece to the sexuall act, where after taking a shit, Person B cleans Person A's rectum for any additional "crums" with their tongue

Person 1:I just had a comforting chimney sweeper done to me, pls help
Person 2: a what?
Person 1: .....

A comforting chimney sweeper by Christ feisty 123 May 13, 2021

comfortitis 

when your so comfortable everyone elses level of comfort seems inferior and futile

Mike-"Nick you always get the best sleeping spot"
Nick-"I know, I have comfortitis right now"

comfortitis by kro43434343 January 2, 2009