Jim: What did you get Molly for Christmas?
Dave: Celtics tickets!
Jim: Nice! Wait, does she like basketball?
Dave: I dunno, but I do! And it’ll be a “romantic” night out.
Jim: backhanded gift, nice dude.
The best fucking game ever invented. Players choose either "fronthand" or "backhand" and their partner slaps them across the face, either fronthand or backhand. First shown in the Key and Peele skit, "Fronthand Backhand."
"Yo Tyrell."
"Yo Lawrence."
"You wanna play fronthand backhand?"
"Yo man, I don't know that game."
"Hey man, it's simple, dawg. All you gotta do is say fronthand or backhand!"
"Alright, fronthand."
*slap*
"Ooh man! I got you good! You know that funny."
"Backhand."
"No, honey...I love yours. I don't even like them big."
"Relax, sweetie...you were perfectly adequate."
"Your haircut really slims your face."
Since Michael is a pompous prick, I think I'll give him a backhanded compliment.
A legendary jerk technique known only by the most prestigious of virgins. The ancient art of the sometimes called “revert jerk” involves massaging the male penis with a reverse grip. For this technique you will want your pinky to be the closest finger to the tip of your penis. Sometimes known as the “Kentucky relay” and sometimes even the “Cog Railway”, this new found grip is guaranteed to change you’re life forever.
“I’m single for Valentine’s Day I guess I’ll have to go home and rock my world with the backhand Tennessee tonight.”
“I walked in on my 10 year old brother doing the Kentucky Relay last night.” “Well damn , he must be a fucking genius because it took me years to fully master my grip.”
“Shits been getting pretty boring with my girl lately. I might have to break down and make that bitch give me the ol’ Cog Railway before it’s to late.”