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A sad condition that occurs after pissing off your wife or girlfriend really bad! Case studies show men are most likely to commit animal abuse soon after the "you're cut off" time begins. Effects seems to be acutely focused. Men routinely catagorize themselves in several specific groups. These men are engaging in acts of Spanking The Monkey, Choking The Chicken, Whacking The Weasel, Flogging the Dolphin, and new recent reports demonstrate cross species abuse. Some have now begun to Beat One Eyed Willy, until he finally gets mad and spits on them.
(caller to friend) Dude! I forgot our anniversary ... ... ... again! Third time! What am I going to do?
(friend) ... ... ... ... um, ... ... ... um, ... ...
(caller to friend) Do you have a chicken, or any Sea Monkeys?
(friend) -long pause- Um, Willy want's to know if your OK?
(caller to friend) ... No ... I've become an animal abuser!
(friend) -muffled voice- Willy ... He wants to talk to you.
by LayItOnYou March 17, 2007
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