Almont 

A small town in Michigan that nobody gives a shit about and it's out in the sticks' where there's barely civilization and they're favorite sexual partners are their siblings or cousins.
They have to pass over M-53 highway just to get to the mall.
They party in run down shacks/barns example of one they call the 'man cave',the girls are either anorexic with nasty scene hair or fat and have pink hair.
The dudes are either hick as can be, or straight stoned stupid. They like coming down to the city, usually around Partridge Creek/Lakeside mall to attempt to pick up chicks. Or for the some that actually own computers, they prefer to try spittin' game online. The girls are very insecure, and obviously no one wants their boyfriends so they can straight up defensive over nothing. No one there really cares about the town of Almont.They are all disgusting.
The boys have very small penises when erected .
And most of the girls resemble roadkill.

Incest bitches much? haha

Boy: 'ay cutie how ya' doin' todaay
Girl:Good, are you from Tennessee with that accent?
Boy: Nah sugaplum I'm from Almont.
Girl:Oh okay so you fingerbang your sister , and your mother cooks raccoon for thanksgiving.
Boy:Yessssiiiiiiiiirrrrreeeeeeeeeeee

Almont by BUTCHDYKEANDINFAMOUSSTALKER December 15, 2010

Almont 

A small town in the thumb of michigan that has a population made up of rednecks, whores, attention whores, douche bags, rednecks, and only a small population of decent people... did I mention rednecks? There is absolutely nothing to do in this town, and you will for sure regret moving here. The drama is insanely ignorant, mostly between the attention whores and the just plain whores.

Rednecks- Usually guys who live in the Almont trailer park and drive a beaten up, rusted, dented old chevy or ford truck and think they're the shit. They also eat raccoon for dinner.

Whores- Do I have to explain? They're probably the worst breed of Almontians except attention whores.

Attention whores- Girls who go around creating all the fucked up ignorant drama in this town. Usually start it on facebook or myspace. Usually post pictures on facebook saying how ugly they are for attention. Also, are frequent participators in the dreaded "duckface."

Douchebags- Usually guys who think they're "hood" when in reality, they live in the subburbs of Almont with their parents.

Decent people- If you find one of these people in Almont, keep them. They're very rare.

Person: Where are you from?
Almontian: Almont!
Person: Get. Out. Of. My. Presence.

Almont by YYoyoyoyoyoyo May 27, 2012

ex-almost 

Ex-Almost: Someone who called you baby and were cute with you around your friends — but then there’s the fact that nothing ever followed through. This is what enables us to feel so torn in admitting that no, you didn’t date, but you still kinda feel like you ought to call them your ex.

"Who's that?"
"My ex-almost, we hooked up every week for a month but nothing went past that"

ex-almost by ibeyuranh November 14, 2014

almond mom 

Typically white suburban moms who were 90s girls and never accepted they had an eating disorder, so now they have to make it everyone else’s problem

“A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips is my almond moms favorite mantra”

almond mom by Sydkid765 October 18, 2022

Almond Joy 

A black guy who acts white.

You heard Jamal is an almond joy? Black on the outside but white on the inside.

Almond Joy by Squirtle1200 November 10, 2022

almosttoasty 

search it up, it's good and will make you ask your sexuality ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

it's not gay if it's almosttoasty

almosttoasty by 8we6oqd4wq May 13, 2020

almond tofu 

What Xiao from Genshin Impact eats daily in hopes of trying to extend his height from 157 even though he’s 2000 years old.

Why did you make almond tofu, did you realised that you have summoned Xiao accidentally?

almond tofu by nekohwa March 8, 2021