Wasted. Completely shitfaced. High off your ass, so drunk you're sloshing down the street, or too tired to think straight. Completely and utterly feeling like you're in the shitter. Huge hangover or the after effects of getting high as hell or staying up so long you can't think straight. Any form of being completely wasted to the point where you can't function at ALL.
I stayed up for three days to cram for my SAT. I'm zorched.
make your neighbor lie face down on the floor with his ass cheeks spread. proceed to squirt mustard and ketchup on your penis and yell "time to wake up!!!!" then you hit the bastard on the head with an alarm clock and jump from a 10 story building and do a flying dutchman into his ass
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.