A suspiciously god-like funeral parlor consultant with the thickest, juiciest, meatiest ass any broke gacha gamer has ever seen in their entire life. Every time he so much as moves an inch his cheeks clap so loud that it summons earthquakes and puts ancient gods to their brutal demise. Upon using his elemental skill he summons a dangerously phallic looking 80-inch rock that makes enemies cream in their pants the second they get hit by it.
by Pikleztoastycrumptez02 December 30, 2022
legend says that whenever his ass cheeks clap its largeness releases a supersonic wave resulting in major shaking and earthquakes. celestia acknowledged his skill and crowned him as geo archon.
childe: zhongli's ass can help him get a massive amount of mora *throws a million mora at zhongli's ass as the said ass bounces upon impact*
by big dong schlong zhong January 4, 2022
Zhongli "In terms of mora, we have no mora."
Me: DON'T WORRY ZHONGLI, I CAN PAY THE BILLS WAP YOU CAN HIT ME WITH YOUR ULT ANY DAY! 🤪🤪🤪😘😘😘😍😍😍😫😫😫😀😀😀😳😳😳😳🥴🥴🥴🥴😏😏😏😏
Me: DON'T WORRY ZHONGLI, I CAN PAY THE BILLS WAP YOU CAN HIT ME WITH YOUR ULT ANY DAY! 🤪🤪🤪😘😘😘😍😍😍😫😫😫😀😀😀😳😳😳😳🥴🥴🥴🥴😏😏😏😏
by Non Ignorant Human (I Think) July 23, 2021
A Genshin Impact character. He's 1.85m (6'1") tall, he has dark brown hair that fades to orange at the end and amber eyes. He lives in the capital city of the (in-game) nation of Liyue, where he works in a funeral parlor and wanders around, presumably drinking tea and sharing his oddly extensive knowledge on Liyue history. His only outfit (as of January 2022) is a complex suit in brown tones with many golden details.
He's popularly known between fans of the game for:
a. Being canonically poor
b. Talking about osmanthus wine
c. Being (subjectively) hot
d. Frequently interacting with Tartaglia, another Genshin Impact character
f. (story spoilers)
He's popularly known between fans of the game for:
a. Being canonically poor
b. Talking about osmanthus wine
c. Being (subjectively) hot
d. Frequently interacting with Tartaglia, another Genshin Impact character
f. (story spoilers)
Person A: "Zhongli is my favorite Genshin Impact character. He has a relaxing voice and he's very kind and smart. He's the ideal man."
Person B: "Yeah, but he's very old and he's poor."
Person A: "Idc I still like him."
Person B: "Yeah, but he's very old and he's poor."
Person A: "Idc I still like him."
by thecqcumber January 29, 2022
Zhongli is hottest and most handsome man in genshin impact. I just want that sexy body to bang against me and have him go slower everytime I make a single noise or moan I want him to fuck the living shit out of me and have his hand become my necklace. I would do anything for this man, I would do absolutely anything to just get a second to touch and feel his perfect body. I want him to overstimulate me, fuck me until I can't walk and shove his big fat cock into my mouth.
by Keeeeyuuuuueeeeeee July 19, 2021
by theresa coconut June 2, 2021
Please daddy Zhongli rail the living fuck out of me I’d do anything for you I’m begging. Please good sir.
by Mmmlol November 14, 2021