Metrosexuality to the point of borderline homosexuality/femininity. Named for the prevalence of this condition among male employees of the clothing store "Express." As the condition improves the afflicted will move on to other clothing stores, the first step generally being American Eagle, with time and constant teasing the sufferer may go on to one day kiss a girl. Should the condition worsen the sufferer will move on to the Gap or Old Navy and be subjected to random beatings by emo kids looking for tight fitting women’s jeans.

When you eat dirt for the first time and leave your family to build a shack in the woods