A series of books written by Stephenie Meyer that revolve around a cliche girl and her obsession with a (not really) vampire and a (not really) werewolf who spend most of their time violating the vampire/werewolf rules, ie walking in sunlight, sparkling, turning into a wolf instead of a werewolf (the difference being that a werewolf is humanoid), and never wearing shirts so as to show off your 135-lb-bench-press body (jsyk, that's pathetic). The books show all the subtlety of a Larry the Cable Guy comedy routine and about as much intelligence. The legions of fangirls and moms who support this series are (sadly) poorly read and/or educated. Had they read any real literature before being brainwashed by this novel they would realize what sanctimonious tripe it is. It has contributed nothing to the English literary tradition and should receive no praise of any kind.
by Al Non June 30, 2010
A totally cliche book that wasted a million of trees and has millions of readers hooked on it because of the gorgeous character Edward even though Jasper is better than him.
1) Flat Characters (main character is a complete Mary Sue); the characters have no flaws at all. Bella is clumsy but that's not exactly a character flaw.
2) No action until the very end
3) Bella has no aspirations, no goals, nothing; she wants nothing from life except for Edward. Bella seems to have no substance and no backbone. Where is her sense of self?
4) Why does she like Edward in the first place? He's beautiful? A little superficial, don't you think?
5) Bad prose, even for a first-time writer
6) A glittering vampire...
7) What does Edward see in Bella anyway?
8) No build-up between Edward and Bella. They hate each other at the beginning and then a few pages later, they are in love.
9) Did I mention Edward's beautiful, gorgeous, amber eyes yet?
10) Edward stays outside Bella's house and she finds that cute and amusing? He watches her sleep as well - does anyone else find this creepy? Since when did stalking someone become cute and adorable? Edward loves her for her smell - does she not find that a little disturbing?
11) The only one who should be applauded here is the marketing department: job well done.
1) Flat Characters (main character is a complete Mary Sue); the characters have no flaws at all. Bella is clumsy but that's not exactly a character flaw.
2) No action until the very end
3) Bella has no aspirations, no goals, nothing; she wants nothing from life except for Edward. Bella seems to have no substance and no backbone. Where is her sense of self?
4) Why does she like Edward in the first place? He's beautiful? A little superficial, don't you think?
5) Bad prose, even for a first-time writer
6) A glittering vampire...
7) What does Edward see in Bella anyway?
8) No build-up between Edward and Bella. They hate each other at the beginning and then a few pages later, they are in love.
9) Did I mention Edward's beautiful, gorgeous, amber eyes yet?
10) Edward stays outside Bella's house and she finds that cute and amusing? He watches her sleep as well - does anyone else find this creepy? Since when did stalking someone become cute and adorable? Edward loves her for her smell - does she not find that a little disturbing?
11) The only one who should be applauded here is the marketing department: job well done.
by Kira Kira September 23, 2008
holy crap. girls. you are not bella. edward cullen never existed..he never will. you are not a vampire. so get the fuck over it. twilight. lameness.
by megimoo December 4, 2008
The biggest disgrace to the literacy of the entire human race to ever surface the earth.
JUST BURN IT.
Nuff said.
JUST BURN IT.
Nuff said.
1. RANDOM FANGIRL: OMGOMGOMG I LUV TWILIGHT TO DEATH!1!!1! EDWARD IS LEIK SO HAWT! I WANNA HAV HIS BABIES!!!!1!!11! STEPHANIE MEYER SAVED MY LIFE!!1!!!!!!111!
RATIONAL PERSON: Please go away. You need to get a life.
RATIONAL PERSON: Please go away. You need to get a life.
by lolFritters September 18, 2009
Twilight is a young/adult vampire romance novel by Stephenie Meyer and a movie directed by Catherine Hardwicke
A twilight is also a emo biatch.
All bitches are going crazy over the twilight books and movie and shit.
But twilight is such a bunch of whiny emo biatches, what ever happen to badasses vampires? now all they do is complain about their feelings. And what about vampires don’t fry in sunlight anymore! So instead of frying in direct sunlight, they sparkles unnaturally like small sad diamonds, shit! Thank goth that robert is a pretty shining disco bowl or else i had left the cinema on a drop of a hat. Yea i haven't read the books, but fuck those damn books! Stop readig that shit. Use your own fucking mind and make up a better story. I fuck the teenage romance between a 100-year old pathetic vampire ass and a 17-year old frikkin emo kid.
A twilight is also a emo biatch.
All bitches are going crazy over the twilight books and movie and shit.
But twilight is such a bunch of whiny emo biatches, what ever happen to badasses vampires? now all they do is complain about their feelings. And what about vampires don’t fry in sunlight anymore! So instead of frying in direct sunlight, they sparkles unnaturally like small sad diamonds, shit! Thank goth that robert is a pretty shining disco bowl or else i had left the cinema on a drop of a hat. Yea i haven't read the books, but fuck those damn books! Stop readig that shit. Use your own fucking mind and make up a better story. I fuck the teenage romance between a 100-year old pathetic vampire ass and a 17-year old frikkin emo kid.
by †reptilicus† February 18, 2009
a book that just now everyone is obsessed with. You can't look for a bumpersticker on facebook without seeing"I love edward". omg get over yourself! it's a book, it's okay to like a book, but not if it prevents you from living your life normally (or as normal as an obsessee can be)
girl: "omg i love twilight, edward is soo dreamy"
me: "sorry to burst your bubble but he's not real, the dude who pays him is ACTING, please for the sake of humanity, get over yourself"
me: "sorry to burst your bubble but he's not real, the dude who pays him is ACTING, please for the sake of humanity, get over yourself"
by Like Duh! August 13, 2008
1. The time between dawn and sunrise, and sunset and dusk.
2. An idiotic book by Stephenie Meyer that has swept the globe faster than the plague. Twilight may be a "good book" if you're into all romance, cliches, and no plot until after five hundred pages.
The book has spawned a massive, rapidly-growing, rabid army of fangirls that absolutely refuse to believe that there is another book out there that is better than their "beloved Twilight." Their denial has resulted in verbal abuse, violent threats, and even beatings towards others that do not share their same interests.
The plot to Twilight... is non-existant. The "book" lists events that happen between the obnoxious, whiney, low self-esteemed "heroine" Bella and her beloved, sparkly, ripped, pale, dead, vegetarian, vampire boyfriend Edward. The first three hundred pages consists of Bella, a plain, bland, awkward teenager, ogling over the popular, but silent, and totally HAWT! Edward.
Unfortunately, Edward wants to eat her because he hates how she smells... but that doesn't stop Bella, oh no! And, wait, here's a surprise... EDWARD'S A VAMPIRE! but he's a vegetarian. "What the fuck is a vegetarian vampire?" you may be asking. It's a vampire who refuses to drink the blood of humans, and instead feeds off animals. Anne Rice anyone?
After seeing him SPARKLE in the sun (because that's REALLY why vampires can't go out in the day! :O), they fall madly in love. Then, after playing vampire baseball (this is supposedly the explanation of thunder during storms... BS), THE PLOT ARRIVES in the form of three NORMAL vampires! They want to eat Bella. Oh, no surprise there. After Edward beats the snot out of them, Bella demands that he turn her into a vampire so she wouldn't be such a weakling. osoz too late.
2. An idiotic book by Stephenie Meyer that has swept the globe faster than the plague. Twilight may be a "good book" if you're into all romance, cliches, and no plot until after five hundred pages.
The book has spawned a massive, rapidly-growing, rabid army of fangirls that absolutely refuse to believe that there is another book out there that is better than their "beloved Twilight." Their denial has resulted in verbal abuse, violent threats, and even beatings towards others that do not share their same interests.
The plot to Twilight... is non-existant. The "book" lists events that happen between the obnoxious, whiney, low self-esteemed "heroine" Bella and her beloved, sparkly, ripped, pale, dead, vegetarian, vampire boyfriend Edward. The first three hundred pages consists of Bella, a plain, bland, awkward teenager, ogling over the popular, but silent, and totally HAWT! Edward.
Unfortunately, Edward wants to eat her because he hates how she smells... but that doesn't stop Bella, oh no! And, wait, here's a surprise... EDWARD'S A VAMPIRE! but he's a vegetarian. "What the fuck is a vegetarian vampire?" you may be asking. It's a vampire who refuses to drink the blood of humans, and instead feeds off animals. Anne Rice anyone?
After seeing him SPARKLE in the sun (because that's REALLY why vampires can't go out in the day! :O), they fall madly in love. Then, after playing vampire baseball (this is supposedly the explanation of thunder during storms... BS), THE PLOT ARRIVES in the form of three NORMAL vampires! They want to eat Bella. Oh, no surprise there. After Edward beats the snot out of them, Bella demands that he turn her into a vampire so she wouldn't be such a weakling. osoz too late.
2. Twilight Fangirls in action:
EDWAAAAAAAAAARD!!!!!!!!!! KYAAAAAAH~!!!!!!! I LUUUUUUV UUUUUUUUU!!!!!!! MARRY MEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
EDWAAAAAAAAAARD!!!!!!!!!! KYAAAAAAH~!!!!!!! I LUUUUUUV UUUUUUUUU!!!!!!! MARRY MEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
by Sekebetsu June 19, 2009