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The Ten Commuffments 

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The Ten Commuffments

And the Muff spoke all these words, saying: "I am Muff!"

ONE: You shall have no other Muffs before Me.

TWO: You shall not make yourself a carved Muff--any likeness of anything that is in Muff heaven above, or that is in the Muff beneath, or that is in the Muff under the Earth.

THREE: You shall not take the name of the Muff in Vain.

FOUR: Remember the Muff day, to keep it Muffy.

FIVE: Honor your Muff's.

SIX: You shall not murder Muff.

SEVEN: You shall not commit adultery on Muff.

EIGHT: You shall not steal Muff.

NINE: You shall not bear false witness against your Muff.

TEN: You shall not covet your Muff's house; you shall not covet your Muff, nor the Muff's partner, nor the Muff servant, nor his Muffiest of Muffs, nor his Muffets, nor his Muffins, nor his Muffings, nor his Muffed Muff, nor his Muff Muffs, nor his Muffism ways, nor his Muff Monster, nor his Muff cheese, nor his Muffdoctor, nor his Muffdiver, nor anything that is your Muff's.
Muff: Live life by the code of Muffism.

Joe Jerk Off: How do I do that?

Muff: Start by reading The Ten Commuffments...
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