The Shawnee Alien

An infamous figure in Shawnee High School History, known for actively terrorizing students in the 2023-2024 school year. He is not special needs or anything he just feeds off of fear.

His crimes include:

- Waffle stomping
- Flashing people in the courtyard
- Naked splits in the locker room

- Bear crawling around the cafeteria
- Farting in people’s faces (“cup of soup”)
- Barking at people in the hallways
- Getting the wrestling team banned from the locker room
- Throwing out shit underwear in gym trash can
- Letting a dollar marinate in his ass crack then giving it to a freshman
- Walking in naked on the basketball team
- Running around locker room jacking it
- Parking lot fight where he k/o’d the other guy

List of objects The Shawnee Alien has shoved up his ass:
- Alien keychain
- Shaving cream bottles
- Any type of currency you can think of
- Rocks
- His brother’s toothbrush

- His fingers
- Fish pebbles
- A metal cube (stained afterwards)
- Bottles

The Shawnee Alien walked at graduation by some miracle and is somehow attending college as of Winter 2025

“I can’t wait to go into the locker room I’m sure my freshman wrestling season is gonna be great!”

“DUDE WAIT DON’T FUCKING GO IN THERE THE SHAWNEE ALIEN IS LURKING”

by Luke Choadwalker March 04, 2025