The Butthole Game 

Popular among coprophiles, the game was first introduced to the downtown area of Pittsburgh in 2010 by Alex Pournaras, a Yugoslavian peasant who immigrated to Canada and later to the U.S., who claims to be its originator. Commonly known as The Butthole Guy or the shortened BHG for his regularly engaging in it, Alex would play the game with unsuspecting females by offering them a one hundred dollar bill (which he never had) if he couldn't accurately guess what they had for dinner every day during the previous week. This was achieved by his then bending them over and examining their rectal cavity with one of his fingers and smelling it. When necessary he would even lick off some of the smelly brown sewage to help determine its composition with his tastebuds. To give the impression that he had failed to accomplish his task he would often recite the following poem before submitting an answer:

Grilled cheese sandwich,
Tomato soup,
I smell a Twinkie,
The rest is poop.

By this means the thirty year old freshman of Point Park University with no clearly defined major or career goal was able to get multiple young girls to sleep with him.

Alex says, "Hey, Jarad, Rob, Danie', Vince—I tried to play The Butthole Game with this homeless girl recently and I caught herpes on my fingers. Does this mean I have to stop doing it?"

We reply sarcastically with one voice, "Nooooo, Alex, not at all."

The Butthole Game by The Uptown Bandit November 4, 2014