Tall beard man like being, likes to flirt, drink and play poker.
Loves a good wooly mammoth to keep warm at night, but not against a night alone with a big tube of prescription lube.
Loves a good wooly mammoth to keep warm at night, but not against a night alone with a big tube of prescription lube.
by Hookname December 4, 2020
“After a long day, I like to grab a six pack of Smirnoff Ice, blast some TOOL, and have a Captain’s Spa Day.
by StogieBoi September 14, 2020
1. When someone tells you about something they have done that they think is impressive, but it has the total opposite effect.
2. When someone is bragging about an absolute epic fail, and they should definitely keep it to themself.
2. When someone is bragging about an absolute epic fail, and they should definitely keep it to themself.
Example 1.)
Guy: I know I have bad teeth, so I bough this teeth-repairing toothpaste called Sensodyne.
Me: Congrats bro, you get the Captain's Pass!
Example 2.)
Guy: I was a father at 16, and now I'm blessed to be a young grandpa at 32.
Me: Congrats bro, you get the Captain's Pass!
Guy: I know I have bad teeth, so I bough this teeth-repairing toothpaste called Sensodyne.
Me: Congrats bro, you get the Captain's Pass!
Example 2.)
Guy: I was a father at 16, and now I'm blessed to be a young grandpa at 32.
Me: Congrats bro, you get the Captain's Pass!
by mbrewer32 July 5, 2016
A name first used in spoken conversation when referring to the fictional character Simon from the TV series The Walking Dead, who supported an excessively flamboyant moustache and cheesy grin. This, coupled with his attempts to emulate his boss Negan and general wankerism led to the formation of the moniker.
Similar examples would be: Douchie McDouchebag; Sergeant Dickface; Lord Twat of Knobington Manor, etc, of which the original creator of the name Captain Wankstash seemingly has an endless supply.
Can also be written Captain Wankstache
Suggested use: for mustachioed military/ uniformed non-military types, with attitudes far in excess of their competence /accomplishment. Is not restricted to this use but it's a good fit for it.
Similar examples would be: Douchie McDouchebag; Sergeant Dickface; Lord Twat of Knobington Manor, etc, of which the original creator of the name Captain Wankstash seemingly has an endless supply.
Can also be written Captain Wankstache
Suggested use: for mustachioed military/ uniformed non-military types, with attitudes far in excess of their competence /accomplishment. Is not restricted to this use but it's a good fit for it.
Who was that guy? You know, Captain Wankstache.
Alright Captain Wankstash, calm down/give it a rest.
Here we go, Captain Wankstache is at it again.
Alright Captain Wankstash, calm down/give it a rest.
Here we go, Captain Wankstache is at it again.
by FecktardIntolerant May 12, 2023
Captain Chonk Chonk is our lord and saviour. His immense power is enough to squash 69 coconuts at once.
by Chonky Boi 69 December 6, 2020
When he pulled down his pants to initiate intercourse, she realized that he has a captain hook, thus had to turn 90 degrees to have sex.
by the rage March 24, 2015
Captain’s Hook. The act of giving a male a hand job by curling one finger around the shaft of the penis. Therefore making the shape of a hook around the penis.
by DingDongDaddy July 1, 2020