Tabbert (tab-bert)
A syndrome in which an individual is obsessed with surfing
the internet while working, this phenomenon generally affects a person’s ability to complete projects within the scheduled time table. Symptoms of this syndrome
include but are not limited to the following observed
characteristics.
• An uncontrolled desire to surf
the internet at work regardless of a projects timetable.
• Individuals affected by this syndrome tend to prefer vehicles that are cool ranch Doritos color. Studies have shown that this melancholy hue of blue eases the affected individual’s obsession to the internet.
• It is not uncommon for a person affected with the Tabbert to experience a decline in hygiene and personal appearance. A typical example related to the business environment would be the wearing of wrinkled suits with ankle socks. Most times the suits would need some mending from the tears and holes observed in the work attire.
• Due to the social awkwardness of this syndrome an infected individual would experience a sharp decline in athletic ability or wiliness to be active.
The mental degradation of infected individuals leads to the classification of three levels of Tabberts . These three levels are classified by the following:
• Level 1: Generally considered as a low level Tabbert. Usually at this level the individuals work has a slight deviation from the norm. But the obsession to the internet is fed by the notion of seeing the
end of the internet.
• Level 2: 90 percent of affected individuals fall into this classification. At this level, the individual becomes severely introverted, the subject’s work ethic becomes severely affected and a weird obsession with Cool ranch Doritos blue begins to surface. Athletic ability begins to become affected. A strange but common characteristic of infected subjects at this level is claiming that the end of the internet has been reached
multiple times.
• Level 3: is the observed level. Only one known person is affected at this level. Therefore, statistical data relating to the
characteristics of infected individuals cannot be formulated at this time
