I went pussy tasering last night, when it hit her pussy I was more shocked then her, I've never seen a women have a convulsive orgasm , she loved it, the burning pubes stank though
by mitch00uk April 8, 2015
A police officer, especially one who reflexively uses his or her Taser in situations in which a real cop would rely on his or her wits and communication skills.
Peace Loving Citizen: Excuse me, officer, might you have the time?
Taser Monkey (later, to Grand Jury): The perpetrator approached me and presented a reasonable request in a peaceable manner. I had no choice but to tase him. And tasers are "non-lethal" so it's obvious he died on purpose just to frame me.
Grand Jury: But your victim was a 90-year-old man with a heart condition in a wheelchair with an oxygen tank... asking for the time. And you killed him.
Taser Monkey: Exactly. He could have been a terrorist with a wheelchair bomb, plotting to kill me and everyone else in the area. A lesser cop might have answered with the time and we could all be dead right now!
Grand Jury: Oh right! What were we thinking? Of course we'll side with you no matter what. Fuck the citizens!
Taser Monkey (later, to Grand Jury): The perpetrator approached me and presented a reasonable request in a peaceable manner. I had no choice but to tase him. And tasers are "non-lethal" so it's obvious he died on purpose just to frame me.
Grand Jury: But your victim was a 90-year-old man with a heart condition in a wheelchair with an oxygen tank... asking for the time. And you killed him.
Taser Monkey: Exactly. He could have been a terrorist with a wheelchair bomb, plotting to kill me and everyone else in the area. A lesser cop might have answered with the time and we could all be dead right now!
Grand Jury: Oh right! What were we thinking? Of course we'll side with you no matter what. Fuck the citizens!
by taserbrain February 12, 2010
When one talks confidently about a possible situation that might arise and then when the situation actually happens they get mentally tasered, or handle the situation completely different from how they claimed they would, usually by whoever they were talking about easily "over powering" in the situation.
John: This isn't a good idea. I got pulled over by a cop last night for staying out past curfew like this skating.
George: Ha! Wow you're a pussy. Stop worrying. If a cop even tried pulling me over for that I would pull out my knife and cut his ass.
*Red and blue lights flash and a police officer approaches the 2 of them*
Cop: What are you two doing out this late? It's past the local curfew.
George: H-hello officer we we're j-just taking a walk and enjoying th-the weather.
John: Wow, so much for acting like a tough guy huh George?
George: Shut up I got mentally tasered asshole!
George: Ha! Wow you're a pussy. Stop worrying. If a cop even tried pulling me over for that I would pull out my knife and cut his ass.
*Red and blue lights flash and a police officer approaches the 2 of them*
Cop: What are you two doing out this late? It's past the local curfew.
George: H-hello officer we we're j-just taking a walk and enjoying th-the weather.
John: Wow, so much for acting like a tough guy huh George?
George: Shut up I got mentally tasered asshole!
by Dj Djuric July 22, 2009
The consensual act of using a taser on one's partner during intercourse to derive sexual pleasure through electrical conduction.
"Taser Sex" is a largely untested and legally unapproved maneuver only performed by sexual deviants and self-professed idiots.
by Rondolio July 22, 2008
The University Of Florida, where free speech is not included. If you ask the wrong questions, you will be shocked. When this occurs your fellow students will not assist you in any way, prompting the illustrious TV pundit, Stephen Colbert, to call out your student body as a bunch of submissive cowards.
FSU student "Dude, I heard Justin went to UF"
USF student "Lol, I hope he doesn't ask the wrong questions, he just entered the Taser Nation"
USF student "Lol, I hope he doesn't ask the wrong questions, he just entered the Taser Nation"
by Scotty Con Queso September 26, 2007
Dwayne: "I was sitting in Starbucks quietly reading the paper when I got hit with your cellphone taser. My whole body jumped."
by Ibiwisi January 31, 2009