1.) A seaside town in South East England, home of the largest pier in the World (despite Brighton's pitiful attempts to burn it down, jealous bastards.)

2.) Where the Londoners from 'Eastenders' go on holiday.. Often pronounced "Sah-fend"

3.) Living hell.
"So where you from?"
"Southend.."
"ah..Shit, sorry man."
by pscarlet March 29, 2009
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Otherwise known as Southend-on-Sea. Chavtown. Chav-ville. Chav central. A town in a muddy corner of south Essex that is full of chavvy mob-mentality dumb trend-following cunts who wear prison inmate haircuts, think they're hard and drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes and take drugs. The girls are fake-tanned, pierced and caked in 10 tons of makeup and have a yappy, retarded accent.

Some statistics about the town:

• Southend Borough Council was criticised as one of the worst financially managed local authorities in England by the Audit Commission report for 2006/7, one of three to gain only one of four stars, the others being Liverpool and the Isles of Scilly. Areas of criticism were the use of consultants and the spending of £3.5 million on taxis during the 2006/7 financial year.

• Southend is the seventh most densely populated area in the United Kingdom outside of the London Boroughs, with 38.8 people per hectare compared to a national average of 3.77.

• Southend has the highest percentage of residents receiving housing benefit (19%) and the third highest percentage of residents receiving council tax benefit in Essex.

• Wages for jobs based in Southend were the second lowest among UK cities in 2015.

• Save the Children's research data shows that for 2008–09, Southend had 4,000 children living in poverty, a rate of 12%, the same as Thurrock, but above the 11% child poverty rate of the rest of Essex. The poverty rate of the UK is 7.8%.
Welcome to Southend, home of the chavs and dumb cunts who can't spell 'Asia' or 'decision', don't know what sensationalism, arteries or parentheses are, don't know what a brewery, a grocery, genocide or pop culture is, don't know how semicolons work, don't know that 'rational 'and 'rationale' are two different words, wonder why there's no opposite word to inflation not knowing that deflation exists, don't know horizontal from vertical, don't believe that humans breathe out carbon dioxide, struggle to understand how people can know that DNA stands for deoxyribonucleic acid, use 'es' instead of apostrophe s, struggle to say 'conglomerate', 'strategic', 'innovate' and 'technological' and don't know that 'retardant' is a word. (All true stories, distressingly.)
by KillAllSlutsAndChavs March 21, 2017
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The hardest,bloodiest part of Southend, the hardest hood in Southeast Littlerock,Arkansas.. If your thinking about going ,dont.
Guy1:Aye, let's go to Southend projects bruh.
Guy2:Hell nah they catching nothing but body's out there, count me out!
by 10kkiddtharealist January 28, 2017
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a shit hole full of shitty people, shitty shops and shitty schools. its also full of drug dealers and psychos so if ur willing to die , come here yay lol. the only good thing is the town and adventure island. yeh ok lol
where r u from
"southend on sea"
oh ok kys
by iaminisis February 12, 2018
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A poor school for posh twats that will probably end up working at MacDonalds anyway
Oh, do you go to Southend High? Fuck off you posh twat.
by Not Ghengis Khan December 23, 2018
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Come up your girlfriends ass then Chop the end off of a banana,insert into your girlfriends ass, squish out the banana from its skin remove the skin,Insuring as much banana is left up her as poss.have your gf then shit out the banana and cream into your mouth and enjoy.
southend banana split alabama hot pocket anal rainbow kiss
by fudgepacker123 January 04, 2014
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A school full of boys that are weird. They think they are all smart but in reality they aren't. And the only good people that are there are the girls in sixth form. Girl power!!!
Jessica: Yeah I saw Tom yesterday!
Whitney: Oh that weirdo from southend high school for boys?
Jessica: Yeah mate
by hehemichaeljacksonfu January 12, 2020
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