Southend

Otherwise known as Southend-on-Sea. Chavtown. Chav-ville. Chav central. A town in a muddy corner of south Essex that is full of chavvy mob-mentality dumb trend-following cunts who wear prison inmate haircuts, think they're hard and drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes and take drugs. The girls are fake-tanned, pierced and caked in 10 tons of makeup and have a yappy, retarded accent.

Some statistics about the town:

• Southend Borough Council was criticised as one of the worst financially managed local authorities in England by the Audit Commission report for 2006/7, one of three to gain only one of four stars, the others being Liverpool and the Isles of Scilly. Areas of criticism were the use of consultants and the spending of £3.5 million on taxis during the 2006/7 financial year.

• Southend is the seventh most densely populated area in the United Kingdom outside of the London Boroughs, with 38.8 people per hectare compared to a national average of 3.77.

• Southend has the highest percentage of residents receiving housing benefit (19%) and the third highest percentage of residents receiving council tax benefit in Essex.

• Wages for jobs based in Southend were the second lowest among UK cities in 2015.

• Save the Children's research data shows that for 2008–09, Southend had 4,000 children living in poverty, a rate of 12%, the same as Thurrock, but above the 11% child poverty rate of the rest of Essex. The poverty rate of the UK is 7.8%.
Welcome to Southend, home of the chavs and dumb cunts who can't spell 'Asia' or 'decision', don't know what sensationalism, arteries or parentheses are, don't know what a brewery, a grocery, genocide or pop culture is, don't know how semicolons work, don't know that 'rational 'and 'rationale' are two different words, wonder why there's no opposite word to inflation not knowing that deflation exists, don't know horizontal from vertical, don't believe that humans breathe out carbon dioxide, struggle to understand how people can know that DNA stands for deoxyribonucleic acid, use 'es' instead of apostrophe s, struggle to say 'conglomerate', 'strategic', 'innovate' and 'technological' and don't know that 'retardant' is a word. (All true stories, distressingly.)
by KillAllSlutsAndChavs March 21, 2017
Get the Southend mug.