You update a status or make a comment on social media that offends someone. That someone then looks up your profile, finds out who you work for and writes a complaint to your employer about the status or statement and asks the employer to discipline or sack the poster under their social media policy.
That chap who said that comment about the Kasabian lead singer has been sacked from his work, a snownark reported him to his employer
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.