Snow Cow

fat, ugly bitches from schools like NMU or UW Madison.
I went up north this weekend and i got stuck in traffic on 41 for 3 hours because a herd of snow cows was migrating west because the kegs all went dry in the east and beer googles started falling off.
by p dickle October 12, 2005
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Snow Cow

pale, very overweight, shaped like a fire hydrant women with football helmet hair styles that live in upstate Michigan
No way the Snow Cow would fit into the size 5 dress like she insisted.
by Joseph Morio February 28, 2006
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Snow Cow

(1) An overweight Tundra Wookie.
(2) Any woman who you pick up in an Alaskan bar who is beautiful form the neck up but looks like a knock-em-down doll from the neck down.
Roomie: Dude, did you go home with that chick from Ivorys last night?
Me: No, thank god, she was a Snow Cow.
by Capngrumpy February 03, 2006
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Snow Cow

A 40-65 year old mom from the northern Midwest who used to be petite but then she got fat & saggy, her husband cheated on her, she got divorced, and now she tries to live through her teenage daughter's life. Frequently found in bars gossiping w/ other snow cows and wearing t-shirts with rhinestone martini glasses. Has the social maturity of an 18-year-old. Enjoys: Sitting on Facebook for hours at a time ripping apart innocent girls with her bitchy daughter.
Thank goodness Aschleigh's mom is a snow cow-- she provided all the liquor for last night's underage rager and drank with us! Maybe she'll post pics on her Facebook!
by Cal00000 June 26, 2011
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Snow Cow

Typically a Female, who always plays the victim or marytr card when something goes wrong in her life and will not accept blame for the situation or own up to their own actions. Often used to describe a large mentality of women (and some men) in the midwest, however does occur world wide.
She says she is 200 pounds because he stresses her out, and therefore she eats. It's his fault she is fat, what a snow cow" or "She won't get a job, now that they are divorced because she says he 'held her back from her goals' all those years, when in reality, she kept getting pregnant. I can't believe he ever married such a snow cow."
by soccerchula July 28, 2010
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snow cow

A term describing a female who moves to the far northern reaches of Michigan, is somewhat attractive and petite at first but proceed to blimp up once the harsh UP winter hits. This is most evident at MTU where the cafeteria food is horrible for you and the professors stress you out so much that you start eating like a cow.
"Wow, that girl was hot at the start of the semester but she really became a snow cow"
by Ryan September 02, 2006
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snow cow

Commonly a very overweight young woman or college girl in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. Due to the excessively long and dark winters, out of sheer boredom, young women tend to consume mass quantities of cheap high calorie dorm food and guzzle buckets of overpriced fruit flavored craft beer while avoiding exercise. These bad habits result in rapid weight gain to the point where the once trim and fit high school senior who is now a college freshman now resembles a Texas heifer in a stockyard.
My old HS girlfriend used to be a super fit cheerleader. After a year in the UP at college, she's a major snow cow who looks like a brown bear about to hibernate.
by Vinnie from Chicago December 31, 2024
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