A small land-locked island in the South Pacific, somewhere near Norway. It shares borders with Argentina and Kazakhstan. It's like Serbia, but with an M in it. The Smerbian flag features its coat of arms, a raptor riding a bear riding an elephant. The raptor-bear-elephant cavalry of course is our only defense against flying sharks. For if sharks could fly, we would all be doomed.

The second verse of the Smerbian national anthem has no words. Instead, singers are supposed to hum nervously as if they've forgotten the words. It ends with a majestic kazoo solo.

The king of Smerbia took a lunch break 10 years ago and never returned, so since then Smerbia has become a republic state until he returns. Smerbia still retains a Royal Guard, an army of ninjas, to guard the non-existent royals.

When you eat dirt for the first time and leave your family to build a shack in the woods