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Shared Services 

1. Shared Services are a small group of people that strive to be of the quality of others in their company. IE: Tech Support.

2. Shared Services are often found clinging to the bottom of feet late at night

3. Shared Services are a group of people that don't have an official job title so get dubbed Shared Services as the only explanation for their existance
As of this printing the Shared Services phenomenon is still being investigated. But, is believed to be Alien in nature from original testing.
Shared Services by Tech Support August 12, 2004
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Dick Shaped Service 

Where the reservation staff book all the tables in a single sitting at the exact same time; as such the service staff are then required to stand around with their dicks in their hands (usually for an elongated period) before being ‘dicked’

This is in contrast to a spread service where guests arrive over a period of time ensuring a consistent, smooth flowing service.
Guys, they’re all booked at 6:30, another Friday, another dick shaped service