A terrible weapon Lockheed Martin is developing in case of war against France. Unfortunately the huge amount of light sabers produced might drive the United States to the third Bush administration.
US army general: "what happened to the boat"
US lieutenant: "the pirates caught it"
US army general: "is the crew ok?"
US lieutenant: "Yes, the were french so they gave up immediately."
to the sailors:"by the way, why did you give up so easily?!"
French sailor A: " they had a light saber"
French sailor B: "........light.....saber....."
French sailor C:" LE LIGHT SABER!!! TERRIBLE!!"
US lieutenant: "the pirates caught it"
US army general: "is the crew ok?"
US lieutenant: "Yes, the were french so they gave up immediately."
to the sailors:"by the way, why did you give up so easily?!"
French sailor A: " they had a light saber"
French sailor B: "........light.....saber....."
French sailor C:" LE LIGHT SABER!!! TERRIBLE!!"
by ilRabbino April 24, 2013
by crimsonblade53 February 25, 2006
A game typically played by 2 males. Both players stand in front of the toilet and start peeing into it. While peeing you must use your pee-stream as a light saber and clash against the other pee-stream. The first person whos lightsaber runs out of energy is the loser. Added points for sound effects.
by Sabazou September 28, 2007
The best single weapon in the history of cinema. Utilised in the star wars films, lightsabers (or sabres - if you're UK) consist of a handle (like a flashlight tube) and emit a brilliant lazerbeam like shaft of colour. The traditional colours of the blade are green or blue for Jedi (goodies) or red for the baddies - the Sith. The exceptions are Mace Windu played by Samuel L Jackson who has a purple one because Jackson wanted to look cooler than everyone else. And General Grevious who weilded stolen Jedi sabres. Also in Revenge of the Sith Darth Vader still uses his Jedi blue sabre - though he switches to red in the time between episodes III & IV.
Lightsabres are able to cut through anything, apart from the blade of another sabre. Because of this it's an ideal 1v1 weapon for close combat. These duels are the highlights of the Star Wars films. Here, in order are the sabrefights;
EP1: Qui gon jinn & Obi wan Kenobi destroy droids.
Qui gon jinn V Darth Maul - no victor, Maul escapes.
Qui gon and Kenobi V Darth Maul - Kenobi wins, Maul kills Jinn before Kenobi kills him.
EP2: Kenobi kills hitman in club.
Anakin Skywalker V Droid army
All Jedi V Droids - Windu decapitates Jango Fett
Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker V Count Dooku Dooku KO's Kenobi and cuts Anakin's arm off. This leads into;
Yoda V Dooku - Dooku escapes
EP3: Anakin and Kenobi V Droids
Anakin and Kenobi V Dooku - Anakin decapitates Dooku in cold blood.
Anakin and Kenobi V General Grevious - Grevious escapes.
Anakin discovers Palpatine is really Darth Sidious and holds his saber to his throat
Chancellor Palpatine V Jedi council Palpatine mows them down except Windu, who forces him into a corner.
Anakin cuts Windu's hand off and Palpatine electrocutes him.
Kenobi V Grevious - Grevious escapes and Kenobi gives chase
Anakin goes to the temple and exterminates all the Jedi, including women and children. A child escapes and kills a few troops with his saber but is savagely gunned down.
Anakin goes to Mustafar and wipes out all the Sepratist leaders
Yoda V Sidious - Sidious forces Yoda to flee
Anakin V Kenobi - The huge climactic epic battle, won by Kenobi who decides to relieve Anakin of his left arm and both his legs, and leaves whats left engulfed in flames (what a guy huh?)
EP4: Feeble crumbly Kenobi V Darth Vader - Kenobi is killed after sacraficing himself.
EP5 Luke Skywalker V Wampa Big ugly hairy thing plus lightsabre equals Big one armed hairy thing.
Luke V "Darth Vader" Luke's mind playing tricks - cuts Vaders head off to reveal GASP! his face in the mask.
Luke V Vader (real) Vader pisses on him basicly - after cutting Lukes hand off Vader reveals that "I am your father" DUM DUM DUUUUM!
EP6 Luke V Jabba's goons - And the scene where Leia is in THE GOLD BIKINI!!
Luke V Trooper on bike - Trooper gets his bike destroyed - dies, nice explosion though.
Luke surrenders to Daddy and shows him his new lightsabre. Vader responds by taking him to the Emperor
Luke V Vader (one) After being goaded into taking his sabre, Luke attemts to kill the emperor but his daddy's blade blocks his. With his soppyness fully restored, Luke decides it's wrong to fight his father. Vader responds by hurling his sabre vaguely in Lukes direction - missing too.
Luke V Vader (two) Realising Vader knows he has a sister, Luke grows a set and charges Vader, he beats him down and holds him there his sabre pointed at his throat. Emperor Palpatine electrocutes Luke after Luke throws his Sabre away (silly boy) Vader becomes good and throws the nasty man down a tube YAY.
Lightsabres are able to cut through anything, apart from the blade of another sabre. Because of this it's an ideal 1v1 weapon for close combat. These duels are the highlights of the Star Wars films. Here, in order are the sabrefights;
EP1: Qui gon jinn & Obi wan Kenobi destroy droids.
Qui gon jinn V Darth Maul - no victor, Maul escapes.
Qui gon and Kenobi V Darth Maul - Kenobi wins, Maul kills Jinn before Kenobi kills him.
EP2: Kenobi kills hitman in club.
Anakin Skywalker V Droid army
All Jedi V Droids - Windu decapitates Jango Fett
Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker V Count Dooku Dooku KO's Kenobi and cuts Anakin's arm off. This leads into;
Yoda V Dooku - Dooku escapes
EP3: Anakin and Kenobi V Droids
Anakin and Kenobi V Dooku - Anakin decapitates Dooku in cold blood.
Anakin and Kenobi V General Grevious - Grevious escapes.
Anakin discovers Palpatine is really Darth Sidious and holds his saber to his throat
Chancellor Palpatine V Jedi council Palpatine mows them down except Windu, who forces him into a corner.
Anakin cuts Windu's hand off and Palpatine electrocutes him.
Kenobi V Grevious - Grevious escapes and Kenobi gives chase
Anakin goes to the temple and exterminates all the Jedi, including women and children. A child escapes and kills a few troops with his saber but is savagely gunned down.
Anakin goes to Mustafar and wipes out all the Sepratist leaders
Yoda V Sidious - Sidious forces Yoda to flee
Anakin V Kenobi - The huge climactic epic battle, won by Kenobi who decides to relieve Anakin of his left arm and both his legs, and leaves whats left engulfed in flames (what a guy huh?)
EP4: Feeble crumbly Kenobi V Darth Vader - Kenobi is killed after sacraficing himself.
EP5 Luke Skywalker V Wampa Big ugly hairy thing plus lightsabre equals Big one armed hairy thing.
Luke V "Darth Vader" Luke's mind playing tricks - cuts Vaders head off to reveal GASP! his face in the mask.
Luke V Vader (real) Vader pisses on him basicly - after cutting Lukes hand off Vader reveals that "I am your father" DUM DUM DUUUUM!
EP6 Luke V Jabba's goons - And the scene where Leia is in THE GOLD BIKINI!!
Luke V Trooper on bike - Trooper gets his bike destroyed - dies, nice explosion though.
Luke surrenders to Daddy and shows him his new lightsabre. Vader responds by taking him to the Emperor
Luke V Vader (one) After being goaded into taking his sabre, Luke attemts to kill the emperor but his daddy's blade blocks his. With his soppyness fully restored, Luke decides it's wrong to fight his father. Vader responds by hurling his sabre vaguely in Lukes direction - missing too.
Luke V Vader (two) Realising Vader knows he has a sister, Luke grows a set and charges Vader, he beats him down and holds him there his sabre pointed at his throat. Emperor Palpatine electrocutes Luke after Luke throws his Sabre away (silly boy) Vader becomes good and throws the nasty man down a tube YAY.
"Your father's light saber, the weapon of a Jedi Knight. A graceful weapon from a more civilised age. Not as random or clumsy as a blaster." Obi Wan Kenobi presenting Luke with his father's sabre.
by Dashowstoppa December 1, 2006
The act or game of two or more men (usually heterosexuals) placing glow in the dark condoms on each others erect penises and having mock light saber duals under the glow of a black-light. Sound effects are common but not necessary.
Hey bro a bunch of us are getting together after the hockey game and playing light sabers, you down?
by Skeeferd April 12, 2011
by zeppenwolf June 30, 2011
A powerful weapon that Jedi Knights wield during sexual intercourse. It much resembles a normal penis, because it starts its life as one. However, attaining Master status in the Jedi Arts enables the use of this tool.
Also (v): Meat Saber(ing) - The act of engaging the Meat Saber in sexual intercourse/mortal combat
Also (v): Meat Saber(ing) - The act of engaging the Meat Saber in sexual intercourse/mortal combat
When I whipped out my Meat Saber, she came twice without actually making contact with it.
Yo mama was giving me lip so I had to Meat Saber her into submission.
Yo mama was giving me lip so I had to Meat Saber her into submission.
by Jedi Knight January 30, 2004